You might be a Muggle if...

From Tcy:
...you think Slytherin is the sound of a snake crawling through the leaves.
...you think "Alohomora!" is a Hawaiian greeting.
...you think a snitch is someone who tattles.
...you hear the word "Azkaban" and you reply "Bless you."
...you think "Kwikspell" is a new Microsoft product.
...you think "Polyjuice" is a nutritional suppliment for your parrot.

From Bluesqueak (Pip):
.... you hear someone shouting 'Accio' and hand them a tissue
.... you think a game of cricket that lasts five days is a long time for a sports match.
... you think 'Animagi' is the latest cartoon craze from Japan.

and you might be a publisher if ...
... you think 'Philosopher' is too complicated a word to put on a book cover. ;-)

From Iggy McSnurd:
... you think a "chaser" is a beer you drink after a shot of whiskey.
... you think "MoM" is short for "mommy."
... you think "Diagon Alley" is just something that goes off slantwise.
... you think "Knockturn Alley" is something that happens at night.
... you think a "quaffle" is something to pour maple syrup on.
... when you hear someone talking about "the Prophet", you ask if they're referring to Nostradamus, or to Moses.
... you think "Gilderoy" is a new kind of fabric.
... you think that "Hagrid" means you've got a very ill tempered wife.
... you think that a "golden galleon" was a pirate ship on the Spanish Main.
... you think a "bronze knute" is a breed of salamander. ("newt")
... you think that "Herbology" is some odd study of guys named "Herbert."
... you're southern and you think that "Tonks" is something you wear swimming. ("I got me a pair of them there swimmin' tonks for goin' ta the lake.")
... you think that a "centaur" is 1/25th of a "quartar."
... you think that "Voldemort" is the German branch of "Wal-Mart."
... you think that "Lucius Malfoy" is the name of a famous drag queen.
... you think that "Mad-Eye Moody" is just another way of saying "that time of the month." ("Yeah, Bill, I think I'd better get outta the house. It's my wife's 'Mad-Eye Moody' time right now.")

from CMC:
...you wonder whether Lord Voldemort inherited his title or was elevated to the peerage by Queen Elizabeth.