A Poor Worker, Verily, Is Elkins

[ssk7882]

The door in the corner opened, and Elkins walked into the room.

This was not, however, an Elkins reduced to semi-lurker status, but 
an Elkins who was clearly at the height of her posting form.  Her 
prose was not swollen beyond all proportion now; it was sparse and 
lean and muscular.  Elkins looked nervous as she sat down in the 
chained chair, but it did not bind her there as it had bound 
Dicentra, and Elkins, perhaps taking heart from this, glanced around 
at the watching crowd, waved at a couple of them, and managed a small 
smile.

"Elkins, you have been brought here in front of the Council of FAQ
Cataloguers to answer charges relating to procrastination," said 
Cindy.  "We have heard the evidence against you, and are about to 
reach our verdict. Do you have anything to add to your testimony 
before we pronounce judgment?"

Stoned!Harry couldn't believe his ears.  Elkins, a Procrastinator?

"Only," said Elkins, smiling awkwardly, "well - I know I've been a 
bit of a slacker--"

One or two of the cataloguers in the surrounding seats smiled
indulgently.  Cindy did not appear to share their feelings.  She was 
staring down at Elkins with an expression of the utmost severity 
and dislike.

"You never spoke a truer word, girl," someone muttered dryly to
George behind Stoned!Harry.

He looked around and saw Super!Neville sitting there again.  "If I 
didn't know she'd always been hopeless with deadlines, I'd have said 
that fever had permanently affected her brain."

"S.K. Elkins, you were caught neglecting your catalogue, your 
LupinFAQ and this list for well over a week," said Cindy.  "For this, 
I suggest a term of imprisonment in Azkaban lasting no less than--"

But there was an angry outcry from the surrounding benches.  Several 
of the cataloguers around the walls stood up, shaking their heads, 
and even their fists, at Cindy.

"But I've told you, I've been ill!"  Elkins called earnestly over the 
crowd's babble, her round green eyes widening.  "I've been sick in 
bed! I've hardly been able to stand up . . . it never crossed my mind 
that so much time was passing! I lost track of the days! And whenever 
I did have a moment to spare...well, Faith kept talking about getting 
me a job in list administration later on...once my posting days are 
over, you know...I mean, I can't keep getting accused of over-
analyzing the text for the rest of my life, can I?"

There were titters from the crowd.

"It will be put to the vote," said Cindy coldly.  She turned to the 
right-hand side of the dungeon.  "The jury will please raise their 
hands . . . those in favor of imprisonment..."

Stoned!Harry looked toward the right-hand side of the dungeon.  Not 
one person raised their hand.  Many of the cataloguers around the 
walls began to clap.  One of the FAQers on the jury stood up.

"Yes?" barked Cindy.

"We'd just like to congratulate Elkins on her splendid posting record
on the main list last spring," the cataloguer said breathlessly.  
"We're even considering making her a *keyword!*"

Cindy looked furious.  The dungeon was ringing with applause now. 
Elkins got to her feet and bowed, beaming.

"Despicable," Cindy spat at George, sitting down as Elkins walked out 
of the dungeon.  "Faith get her a job indeed. . . . The day Elkins 
joins us will be a sad day indeed for list administration. . . ."

And the dungeon dissolved again. 


------------------------------


Hi, guys.

All DEVIL speculations aside, I really have been ill.  No, really!  I 
have been!  But I've come here to make a stunning annoucement.

I'm now half-way done with my block!

<crickets chirp. . . . a dog barks>

Erm, no.  It really isn't very impressive, is it.

<more brightly>  

But I have been uploading!  So if I get hit by a truck, you will
be able to benefit from the pathetic and piddling amounts of work
that I *have* managed to get done!  So you see?  I'm really not 
*utterly* irresponsible.  

A belated but happy welcome to Ali, and a shame-faced apology
to Amy.  I will be getting the rest of the Lupin data to you
soon, Amy.  Promise.

The highlight from my last 100 posts was probably this excerpt from 
message #38469, in which Cindy, while trying to argue that the House 
Elves must all be under the Imperius Curse, writes:

> And the Weasleys? Many of us have wondered why they don't have a 
> house elf if house elves don't have to be paid. Perhaps the reason 
> is that Arthur Weasley is too honorable to use an Unforgivable 
> Curse, even on an elf.
>
> Ah, that Arthur Weasley is a saint, don't you think? ;-)


<thin smile>

Indeed.


Elkins, who wonders if the other folks on the Trimaran know about 
this.