Update....

[Neil Ward]

Jen said:

> Just out of curiosity, Neil... can you give us some examples of the 
> funny bits?

Below are the bits and bobs I reproduced for Penny.  

I know baby Linsenmayer isn't a boy, and a lot of these snippets 
refer to boys, but I should explain that the author of the book 
regards *all* babies as male in that 1940s fashion (and all nurses 
are, naturally, assumed to be women).

Neil


[How To Travel With A Baby]  `If your baby has reached the age where 
he is having mixed food for his lunch, don't take him into the 
restaurant car: the food there is usually quite unsuitable for 
babies.  Pack some tiny sandwiches, brown or white, made with honey, 
Marmite or bramble jelly, and perhaps one or two sponge fingers.  
This with milk is quite enough for any baby.'

`If you are going on a journey you will find "Napkinettes" most 
useful; these are made quite cheaply of a material like gamgee and 
they are thrown away after use.  They are also useful should the baby 
have a sudden attack of diarrhœa, as they can be burnt at once.' 

[The Choice of A Nurse for Your Baby] `Choose someone good-tempered, 
spotlessly clean, cheerful, careful and fond of children, someone 
that you like as a woman.  Choose someone not too set in her ways, 
not too grimly efficient, someone with outside interests, with 
friends of her own.'

`Some nurses make an absolute fetish of lifting the baby.  They will 
snatch the infant up if he so much as stirs in his sleep and put him 
on the chamber.  When he is due to wake, instead of letting him 
stretch and yawn like all young animals while his brain gets into 
working order, they will seize him, whip off his napkin and plant him 
blinking and dazed on his old enemy.'

`A small boy always looks nice in a little woollen cardigan which 
buttons up the front, and a tiny pair of woollen shorts worn over his 
napkin.  This makes a neat rigout and small boys look sturdy and 
compact and easy to handle.' 

`I have known several fathers who viewed with horror the prospect of 
handling a baby in long clothes, yet be extremely proud and pleased 
to hold their son when dressed more reasonably.' 

`Pregnancy is no time for invalidism, so buy yourself a pair of flat-
heeled brogues and a macintosh and go out in all weathers.'

`Toys should be few and simple and inexpensive.  They should be 
washable and have no sharp corners: they should not be painted or 
fluffy, for the baby will put everything into his mouth.  To help his 
growing sense of shape and size and colour, they should all be very 
different – perhaps a wooden rattle, a celluloid duck, or a few small 
leather animals.'

`Sometimes a baby will develop the annoying habit of prolonged 
chewing before swallowing.  They like the feel of it: it's almost 
like chewing the cud, or the American habit of chewing gum.'