For cat lovers and conspiracy theorists...

[carolynwhite2]

> As seen in a dog's diary:
> 
> 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
> 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
> 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
> Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
> 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
> 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
> 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
> 6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
> 7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
> 8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
> 9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
> 11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
> 
> As seen in a cat's diary:
> 
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, 
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me 
going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from 
clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.  

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet 
while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top 
of the stairs.  In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile 
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite 
chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought 
them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am 
capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts.  They only 
cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not 
working according to plan... 

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.  I was placed 
in solitary throughout the event.  However, I could hear the noise 
and smell the food.  More important, I overheard that my confinement 
was due to my powers of inducing "allergies."  Must learn what this 
is and how to use it to my advantage.
> 

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. 
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.  
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to 
be an informant and speaks with them regularly.  I am certain he 
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal 
room, his safety is assured.  But I can wait, it is only a matter of 
time...
>