[HPFGU-Catalogue] Cockroach clusters..

[Sean Dwyer]

On Thu, Mar 24, 2005 at 03:12:11PM -0000, CarolynWhite2 wrote:
> 
> 
> Dot, did you know the cockroach clusters came from a Monty Python 
> sketch?? I'd missed that - see this message:
> 
> 
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/126528
 
Sadly, I immediately recognised this in the text. Even more sadly, I have the
two definitive volumes of the Monty Python shows and can zero in on such
references. Coincidentally, the Spanish Inquisition has just been voted the
best Monty Python sketch by American Entertainment Weekly because it was
"unforgettable for one reason: torture by kitchen drying rack, and Michael
Palin's inability to count...two! Two reasons."

> Talking of comedy routines, you need some more posts Penguin?
> 
> ......43601-43700

And this is where the story REALLY starts, folks: an appropriate excerpt from
the Goons - 

SEAGOON: Well done. Now tell me, what do you call those little black and white
creatures in the penguin pool?

WILLIUM: Well, I call that one Jim, that one's Terrance and that's Penelope
over there.

SEAGOON: What do you call that one sitting at the piano?
WILLIUM: I call him a pianist, mate.
SEAGOON: Don't tell me that penguin plays the piano!
WILLIUM: Well, I ...er ...
GRAMS: PENGUIN VOCAL WITH PIANO ACCOMPANIMENT
SEAGOON: Good heavens! And he sings as well.
WILLIUM: Yes. And them's all his own words too you know.

SEAGOON: Dear listeners, I realised that the great crowd was due to this piano
playing penguin. If I could get him on the stage I'd make a fortune.

GREENSLADE: Immediately Seagoon went to a nearby house and put up a brass
plate inscribed 'Curator of Birds - Inquire within.' 

FX: Quick knock. Door opens. 

SPRIGGS: Good morning. Come in. Come i-innnn.
SEAGOON: I want to buy a penguin.

SPRIGGS: You look like the type. But only one penguin? I'm afraid, I'm
afra-aaaid we only sell them wholesale.

SEAGOON: Alright then, I'll buy one wholesale. How much are they?

SPRIGGS: How much are they? How much are the-eeeey! I'll just look in this
catalogue.

SEAGOON: I don't want a cat, I want a penguin. Look in the penguin log.

SPRIGGS: It's a lie. I didn't write that one. Nevertheless I shall look in
this penguin log. (sings) Hahahahaa! Hoawaoaoaoaw! Here we are. Here we
ar-rrreeee!

SEAGOON: You found it?
SPRIGGS: No. I was just telling you where we were.
SEAGOON: Thank heavens. I can throw away this map of China.
SPRIGGS: I'll just make out this bill of sale. How do you spell penguin?
SEAGOON: PEE - EN - guin.
SPRIGGS: How do you pronounce it?
SEAGOON: P - E - N - G - U - I - N.

SPRIGGS: Thank you. Let me see now, I'll just write that down. E - Z - L - X -
Q. Drat this pen, it can't spell!

SEAGOON: Wait a minute. Perhaps it's the ink that can't spell. Let me taste
it.

SPRIGGS: Right-o Jim.
SEAGOON: (Tasting) P - E - N - G ... No, no. This ink's alright.

SPRIGGS: Thank you. Now then, here's the one Jim. The name's Tom, Tom Penguin.
Pianoforte and penguin vocalist. (Sings) Melody divine he sings.

SEAGOON: That's him. How much?
SPRIGGS: How much? Twenty pounds sterling.
SEAGOON: That's expensive for a second hand penguin.
SPRIGGS: Ah, but he's just been done up.
SEAGOON: Who by?
SPRIGGS: The husband of the penguin he's been carrying on with. 


And there's more where that came from!

-- 
When all you have are foxes, everything looks like a henhouse.