Lets run with the metaphors: WAS: Re: Thoughts on exclusion and culture

[msbeadsley]

(I started out quoting David and Haggridd but it wasn't working.) 

For more than ten years, whenever anyone said "party," I went in the 
opposite direction--because I expected music too loud to talk over, 
people too stupid (or Mundane/Muggle) to talk to, rude and intrusive 
random flirting/groping, ubiquitous drunkenness, bad food, and 
crowded, soggy, crunchy floor space. Parties in SF fandom (which I 
have enjoyed since 1984 whether local, regional, or national) are 
places where you might find just about anything: a bardic circle, a 
table of gamers, someone giving free massages, or a pizza-making 
contest in the kitchen; the one thing you know is that there will 
always be conversation, often in the form of very loose discussion 
groups.

On the other hand, I have been to many seminars: I have helped run 
professional conferences where scientific papers were presented, I 
have attended things paid for me to go and learn, and I have 
attended, help run, volunteered at, and been an exhibitor at literary 
SF conventions. I also went through a series of (at the time, years 
ago) trendy self-help and awareness seminars. And there is no doubt 
in my mind that HPfGU is at least 95% party. Seminars, conferences, 
and conventions have invited or arranged presenters, and each has an 
assigned venue. There is a definite separation between "speaker/s" 
(often a panel) and "audience." (Although those who are "speakers" 
for one program may be "audience" for the next.) Roles are assigned; 
although the audience generally has a chance to ask questions, they 
don't become the program.

The very best parties our group ever had were those where everyone 
showed up and the filkers sang and played away in one room, the mad 
scientists took over the garage or basement to talk and sketch (hell, 
even *build*) robotics or Tesla coils, at least one table or section 
of floor was appropriated by gamers, some people arrived in costume 
or garb (no one looked twice, except to admire), writers discussed 
the business, folks wandered around the house examining the host's SF 
art or book collection, and every room, sofa, nook and cranny 
attracted at least a couple of people who wanted to discuss 
*something*: philosophy, politics, religion, warfare, history, art, 
sex, music, movies (oh, and books, too <g>) ... our  name for our 
monthly post-meeting party is "Dead Dog," inspired back in the days 
when the end of the party for a lingering few (dead dogs) was over 
breakfast in a restaurant somewhere, long after the sun was well and 
truly up, because they just still weren't quite ready to stop 
talking, or belonging.

You can rent a hall, book a band, put up decorations, and send out 
invitations, but the people who show up are the ones who make the 
party. Or HPfGU. I have assumed since I showed up four months ago 
that ADMIN was there to facilitate, to the best of its ability, what 
members (by consensus, majority, or occasional special request) of 
the list wanted. I still think so. What's more, that's what I think 
ADMIN thinks, too.

Note: the more fractured the whole, the less healthy any of the parts 
will eventually grow. Because although no one likes everything 
equally, most people like more than one part ... and the more the 
whole is carved up, the less value it will have--to more people.

Sandy