Counting history

Thu Dec 11 20:10:42 UTC 2003

--- In HPFGU-Feedback at yahoogroups.com, "heiditandy" <heidilist at t...>
wrote:
> Eileen, how are *you* counting? Because obviously, we all agree that 
> the TBAY-style predated the incorporation of the prefix by at least 
> two months, possibly more. And when I was looking back towards the 
> start of TBAY-style posting, I was looking to posts from Cindy and 
> Tabouli in mid-January, 2002 which included "role-play"-style 
> narratives, like ": Person X engages in behaviour Z and Person Q 
> reacts to same!" 
> 
> I know Cindy's History of HPfGU says that it was Spring 2002, but I 
> don't think that's a 100% accurate date at all. as it's easy to find 
> the phrase "Theory Bay" in February, and some posting-style 
> precursors in a read-through of that January's posts.

Hey! Guess what! Your post inspired me to go digging through those
archives and I've got *long* documentation of TBAY's beginnings. It's
very long, very boring, and feel free to skip over it. Percyish as I
am, I found it fascinating to compile. 

TBAY started in February. Tabouli was definitely the first person on
the Bay, always talking about her metaphorical ship. Many of the first
Bay references are acknowledgements of this ship of Tabouli's. For
example, asides like this: 

Cindy - Message 34690 -Tabouli has already cracked the mystery of why
Snape hates
Harry. ::waves to Tabouli who is working diligently to keep the Good
Ship L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S. off of the rocks::
--------------------
Here's an example of a Tabouli Bay referencing post. It's not,
however, a TBAY post, so much as it's near ancestor. The metaphor of
the Ship and Shippers is a common one in fandom and Tabouli uses it to
promote her ship, not to make any point about theory or shippers. It's
difficult to pin *exactly* when this shift is made, but I'm going to
try to pin it down eventually on a certain post of Elkins's. However,
because of the sheer quantity of Tabouli LOLLIPOPs messages, she wins
the title of Eldest One on the Bay. 
Tabouli - Message 34741 - haaaa! (Captain Tabouli beams broadly).
Congratulations, Judy - your wisdom
and sound deductive powers have just won you a free berth on the Good Ship
LOLLIPOPS (Love Of Lily Left Ire Polluting Our Poor Severus)! Welcome
aboard,
welcome aboard. We have a friendly and colourful crew on deck, and are
always
open to new recruits. However, as Captain, it is my duty to warn you that
taking the "pure speculation" line may impede your chances of
promotion. My
senior crew members and I hold that there is, in fact, quite a bit of
canon
evidence keeping us afloat. Refer to my 6th of November post "Severus
Snape: The
grudge and the very long LOLLIPOPS biography" (and, for that matter,
my 12th of
January post "Survivor Snape: LOLLIPOPS sails again!" which you may
not have
recognised as supporting this theory at the time...)
-------------------------------
Anyone who's spent a little time on the Bay has met George. He appears
in a completely un-TBAY like message which Marina signs in this manner. 
Marina - Message 34747 -  True. My theory does not fit in either with
your theory, or with
Cindy's. It is my own, my very own, and I will love it and hug it and
call it George.
___________
Cindy's offhand reference here is not TBAY but it helps personalize
George and sets the direction for the development of his
personalization later on. 
Cindy - Message 34766 - OK, now that we have met George, I suppose we
have to flirt with him,
seduce him, make him ours, and then . . . change him, right? :-)
_______________
Marina replies, giving George the push that will make him a TBAY
character. 
Marina - Message 34776  - Well, you're welcome to go ahead and try...
I suspect George is a
slut. <G>
_______________
And here's Cindy replying to Tabouli's ship metaphor. Not TBAY yet,
though. It's the sign off on a very non-TBAY post and is pretty
standard shorthand for whether one supports a ship or not, which isn't
really a new thing. Definitely has proto-TBAY elements, though. TBAY
approaches. 
Cindy - Message 34798 - Oh, no. I haven't reached "Snape is a
genuinely decent guy" yet.
In fact, I can't even see "Snape is a genuinely decent guy" from my
low-slung perch on the deck of the Good Ship L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S.,
sipping a marguerita and occasionally heckling Captain Tabouli
with, "Are we there yet?" And yes, I have a seat on the Ship because
I believe L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S. neatly explains why Snape hates
Harry. ::waves boarding pass to prove it::
_________
Well, this isn't TBAY, but it signifies the way a certain person's
mind works. Soon to have list-reaching consequences. 

Elkins - Message 34811 -Although Mrs. Lestrange sure was *sexy,*
wasn't she? I...er...

<blinks nervously around room, then retreats behind coffee mug>

Well...er, yes. Um...never mind.

<clears throat>
_____________
And Tabouli continues to sail about. 
Tabouli - Message 34823  - Under assault from all sides, the Good
Battleship LOLLIPOPS sails on, can(n)ons
gleaming...

Orrrrright (Tabouli dons her sailor's hat and polishes her captain's
badge). I
can see we have a war on our hands here. Time to start addressing the
two main
objections to the LOLLIPOPS way of life.
---------------------
And Jo is just one of the few people who use the metaphor of joining
the ship. 
Jo Serenadust - Message 34847  - Ok, Tabouli, you win. I'm horribly
prone to seasickness and as a
result steadfastly avoid ships like the plague, but I can't find
anything in canon or even suggested by canon to undermine this
theory....
Bring on the dramamine!

Jo Serenadust, who is hoping for a quiet cabin near the center of
the ship
__________________
Marina personifies George a little more in a quite non-TBAYish sort post. 
Marina - Message 34850 - George is helpless to resist. He is smitten.
He know maintains that
Snape's gradual disillusionment with the DEs finally culminated in
active resistance when Voldemort threatened James.
_______________
Cindy uses some more ship metaphor. And then mixes her metaphors. 
Cindy - Message 34866  -In this entertaining showdown of
ever-escalating theories, I suppose
I have to ramp up Prince/Mercy even to stay in the same stadium. I
must admit that my enthusiasm has begun to flag, however, because
Prince/Mercy appears to have no followers at all, and even George
seems to be brazenly flirting with the LOLLIPOPS crew, right under my
nose. No SHIP for me; I have a small stall on the dock selling
overpriced trinkets.
____________
Devin gets into the spirit of the Ship metaphor.
Devin - Message 34874 - Devin, up in the crow's nest of LOLLIPOPS just
waiting to shout "Land
ho!" when the time is right
_________________
This one is right on the line. Is it TBAY or proto-TBAY? It's
definitely set on the  Bay and it's the biggest description of the Bay
yet, implying that every theory has a ship and they're all in some
alternate reality where the theorists live. But the setting is still
not essential to the points. It's still just a metaphor of joining a
ship whose points are outlined in ordinary form. 
Tabouli -   Message 34877 - What can I say, I like my SHIPs off the
beaten waterways...

(Tabouli glances affectionately over the railings of the Good Ship
LOLLIPOPS at
the little FLIRTIAC dinghy bobbing nearby.)

>Cindy (crestfallen that Tabouli's LOLLIPOPS explanation did not
>contain the word "ambush")

(Captain Tabouli croons a soothing sea shanty at the bloodthirsty
Cindy). OK,
OK, we can wangle one in. Never let it be said that the crew don't
look after
the lower deck. I can fall in happily enough with the idea that
trapping all
his old Slytherin friends in an ambush was the task Snape had to
accomplish to
prove his loyalty to Dumbledore, though I find it a bit hard to
imagine Snape
ever having a close and cuddly circle of friends, even his "high
school gang".
____________
This I would mark as the first absolute TBAY post. Here, the setting
*is* the point. Elkins is a fictional construct, selling badges,
affecting a persona a little more sycophantical and weak than RL
Elkins, but a persona which she thinks reflects deeper truths about
herself, her reader response, and sycophants in HP and general
literature. 
Elkins - Message 34911 - <Elkins whips out her shiny new
S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S badge and pins it
to her chest with an ill-concealed grimace of self-loathing. Having
thus assumed her role as the founder of the Society for Yes-men,
Cowards, Ostriches, Passive-Aggressives, Hysterics, Abject Neurotics
and Toadying SYCOPHANTS, she prepares to pontificate.>

Now, I do realize that to many people all Grovelling Coward types
look exactly alike, but I assure you that we members of
S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S recognize a great range of diversity within our
ranks, and while such distinctions may seem insignificant to others,
they matter a great deal to *us.* So.

Avery is *not* a toady. *Nott* is a "Toady." What Avery is is
a "Nerveless Hysteric."

When you obsequiously declare yourself to be prostrating yourself at
someone's feet -- while all the while remaining in a steadfastly
upright position -- *that* is being a Toady.

When you *literally* prostrate yourself at someone's feet, while
simultaneously shrieking for forgiveness at the top of your lungs and
shaking so violently that even a tightly-bound fourteen-year-old boy
with some rather serious problems of his own to contend with can
still detect the motion from all the way across a darkened graveyard,
on the other hand...

Well, that's not "toadying," precisely. That's...er...

<winces delicately>

That's what we here in S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S. prefer to refer to as
a "crisis of nerves."

A minor point, perhaps. But one to bear in mind, particularly should
you ever find yourself invited to our annual Minions' Ball, where
ignoring such niceties can *really* set off the Whining Neurotics --
and that's just no fun for anyone, not even for the Sociopathic
Sadists seated at the next table down.

<Nodding with satisfaction at having cleared *that* matter up, Elkins
unpins her S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S badge and thrusts it back into her
pocket.>
-------------
Cindy writes back, engaging with Elkins's little venture into TBAY,
but not wetting her toes that much herself. 
Cindy -Message 34924  - ::smirk:: Uh, would it be a fair assumption
that S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S.
members are not Tough? Do they watch a great deal of daytime
television and read a lot of self-help books while they eat pint
after pint of high-fat ice cream? :-)
------------------
Another on-the-line post from Tabouli. 
Tabouli - Message 34932 -WHAT? (Tabouli sits up indignantly). HUH!!
This is a gross libel! Just
yesterday in my message "Filch/Mrs Norris (FLIRTIAC) & still more
LOLLIPOPS" I
specifically sang a soothing sea shanty at you (Cindy) and wrote a
Personalised
LOLLIPOPS-friendly Ambush Scenario! I even covered a lot of things which
cropped up in digests over the last couple of days in it, such as why
Lily need
not have been a "war trophy" and why V need not have known about
Snape's crush.

Grrrr.
--------------
Cindy is still mostly sticking to personifying George very slightly in
otherwise straightforward posts. 
Cindy - Message 34938  - Sorry 'bout that, mate. I think I have
developed something of a
crush on George, mostly because he doesn't seem to want me and
therefore is a challenge. 
______________
And here is TBAY again. With almost all its elements in place. 
Elkins - Message 34986- So that does it. I'm inviting Igor out for a
few drinks and to pick
up his S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S. membership packet. We'll go far over our
limits, and sing old songs loudly and off-key, and then get all weepy
and bathetic and sentimental before staggering home at dawn.

I'd invite Cindy to join us, but... Well, I fear that the weepy
bathetic stuff might prove too much for her. I wouldn't want her to
snap and...well, you know. Kill us.
_____________
And here we are again. The extended metaphor is setting in. Elkins as
the Siren voice. Hey, she warned us! In an extended metaphor, of course. 
Elkins -Message 35015 - Outlandish? Subversive? Nonsense! FLIRTIAC is
*overwhelmingly*
implied by canon. Indeed, were I ever to abandon the liminal
pleasures of the shoreline for the absolutism of the wide-open sea,
FLIRTIAC would be my vessel of choice. It is the only ship on which
I have ever so much as considered booking passage.

For now, though, I am content to sit here on my rock at the tideline,
singing merrily to myself and luring only the occasional sailor to
his doom.
and
-- Elkins, thinking she might just hear some human voices out there,
and so hastily assembling the scuba gear...
_________________
TBAY is here to stay. This one's long and has quite a few ideas sunk
into the setting. I've snipped the most typical TBAY parts. 

Elkins - Message -Message 35062 - Good lord, woman. Suck it up, won't
you? Think of your *reputation!*

I wouldn't trust that George guy as far as I could throw him, by the
way. Every time I see him, he's changed his clothing, or his hair
style, or his glasses have new frames... You ask me, he's still
trying to find himself. I wouldn't commit myself to anything until
he's grown up a bit, if I were you.

> Elkins, can I offer you a few cheap trinkets that probably won't
> give you a bad skin rash if you remember to take them off at night?

Welllll...I don't know. You're selling those things from off of the
deck of that <supreme distaste> *ship* these days, aren't you?

I'm not getting on board that thing. You bring those trinkets of
yours down here onto the beach, then maybe we can talk about it.
and

> Yes, Avery is a difficult case to sort out. Still such a blank
> slate, and only three books to go.

Right now I imagine he's hanging out in the Green Room, preening
himself and bouncing excitedly in his chair and lording it over all
of the other guys who spend their time down there -- you know,
Mundungus Fletcher and Arabella Figg and the Longbottom family and
that lot, all of whom are beginning to finger their wands and squint
speculatively at him -- but he hasn't even noticed that yet, not our
Avery, nope, he's still far too wound up, he's all smug and gloating
and babbling uncontrollably: "*I* had an appearance. *I* had a line
of *dialogue!* Seven whole *words!* And Harry was *watching* me --
not even in a dream sequence or anything like that, no, in *real
life!* And the Dark Lord even *spoke* to me, he addressed me by
*name,* he said, 'Avery,' he said, he...well, er, actually what
happened there was that he, er, sort of, well, you know. Tortured
me. A bit. Which wasn't really all that enjoyable, now that you
mention it, I really can't say that I was all that terribly *keen* on
that part, to tell you the truth, and...well, I *do* rather wish that
I had been able to take that wretched mask off. I mean, it's all
rather *awkward,* isn't it, not even knowing what you look like? And
I still don't have a, well, a, you know. A first name. Not, at any
rate, *yet.* Not as *such.* But! Still! I've had an
*appearance!* *And* a line of dialogue!"

<Elkins pauses for a moment to contemplate the notion of young
Severus Snape forced to share living quarters for an entire seven
years with *that* version of Avery, shudders, then shakes her head
and moves on>
and

> Uh, would it be a fair assumption that S.Y.C.O.P.H.A.N.T.S. members
> are not Tough?

Er...not as a general *rule,* no. But some are. In fact, a few of
our members have even been known to do things like sever their own
body parts, although they are generally only able to manage such
feats of Toughness when the plot demands it.

As I've said before, though, there really is a great deal of
diversity within our ranks. We are, after all, an umbrella
organization of sorts for those members of the fictive world who are
what we like to call, er..."reader sympathy challenged." So while it
is indeed true that our Abject Neurotics are, almost without
exception, Not Tough, quite a number of our Yes-Men are very Tough
Indeed. Young Crabbe and Goyle, for example, currently show every
sign of growing up to be Reasonably Tough Yes-Men.

It is a sad truth, however, that our Toughest members are also often
our very least articulate. As a result, they do often find
themselves shockingly marginalized, even within the ranks of our own
organization. We hope to address this problem in the future.

> Do they watch a great deal of daytime television and read a lot of
> self-help books while they eat pint after pint of high-fat ice
> cream? :-)

Well, many of our members currently hold 24/7 positions as Minions to
various Evil Overlords, which doesn't leave them very much time at all
for daytime television and the like. Really, you know, it's very hard
work being a SYCOPHANT. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of mental
and physical energy...it can be *draining,* you know, it really can
be... and all too often it leaves you with nothing left over for such
frivolities as self-help books and the like.

No, at the end of the day, most of our members really just want
nothing more than to go home and take their anti-anxiety medications,
and their sedatives, and their anti-depressants, and their antacids,
and their many *many* pain-relievers, and then go to bed, secure in
the comforting knowledge that Tomorrow Is Another Day -- And Quite
Likely To Be Your Last.

And as for the ice cream...well, minions rarely get very much of
that. Evil Overlords are *notorious* for bogarting the high-fat ice
cream.

Damn them.
_____________________
More simple TBAY from Tabouli. Still the metaphor of ships and
supporters. 
Tabouli -Message 35054  - At last! (Tabouli dabs at happy tears).
Spurned and smiled at indulgently for
all these months, FLIRTIAC finally has a genuine supporter! I agree that
there's got to be something in it myself, but I have my hands full of
LOLLIPOPS
and rarely have the time to sneak into the FLIRTIAC dinghy and polish
the oars.
_______________
And Tabouli, using the metaphor to make a point about LOLLIPOP's
status as a theory. This one is definitely TBAY. 
Tabouli - Message 35134-Contrary to the assumptions of many, the only
initiation dish on the LOLLIPOPS
menu required to gain a boarding pass for this stately SHIP is to
believe that
Love Of Lily Left Ire Polluting Our Poor Severus. If you believe that a
contributing factor to Snape's bitter, cranky behaviour was the fact
that he was
in love with Harry's mother, you are welcome aboard.
Beyond that, the Ship has an a la carte menu. Put together any dishes
you like
from the ingredients JKR has supplied, and the chefs will cater to
your tastes!
________________
Charis launches herself on to the Bay. Though I think this is still
the proto-Bay, in the same sense as Tabouli's posts. 
Charis - Message 35144- Now this brand new SHIP of mine will naturally
need a
name. Inspired by Tabouli's acronym expertise I've hit on
C.U.P.I.D.'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R.: Contrary to Unrequited Passion
Infelicitously Devouring Severus, Black's Love of Unknown Damsel Gets
Expected Response!!!

And, now, after breaking a big bottle of Butterbeer on
her side, I am at last ready to take a deep breath (Ahhhhhh!) and
send her off into the dangerous seas of cyberspace no doubt to get
bashed to pieces by piratical L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S.! And her plight
becomes all the more desperate as her Captain must now desert her
(permissible as Captain must be last to abandon SHIP and whole crew
of C.U.P.I.D.'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. consists of ,errr,...1!) and throw
herself into the dark waters of the Principles of American
Constitutional Law where she will indubitably drown overwhelmed be
incomprehensible theories...sigh...Anyone care to take over?
_______________
And this is more TBAY foreshadowing. This is getting quite common
around now in a lot of people's posts. But the metaphor's not the
story here. These are just thrown out in the context of longer
ordinary posts and aren't really any different in form than offhand
references to simple metaphor you might find in any internet
discussion. The fact that these employ what has become the TBAY
vocabulary doesn't make them TBAY posts in the current sense of the
word. Again, proto-TBAY and not as proto as Tabouli's posts, for example. 
Cindy - Message 35156  - I would like to serve as tugboat and see if I
can help push this
Sirius & Snape SHIP theory out into the open water. ::looks around
on deck for canon, finds mostly speculation:: This version veers a
bit from Charis Julia's original, but here it is anyway.
___________________________
More TBAY from Elkins. She really invented the rules of the genre,
it's becoming clear. 
Elkins -   Message 35187  - <bounces up and down excitedly in chair>

Ambushambushambush!!
and 
<Elkins grins and tosses a seashell lazily -- if with no real malice -
- out to sea in the general direction of the Good Ship
L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S.>
and 
<Elkins, beside herself with excitement, jumps up and down in her
seat, shrieking happily>

YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Bloody ambush! Bloody ambush! Bloody ambush!

> Then Travers, Mulciber and Dolohov put up a fierce struggle against
> Frank Longbottom, who eventually subdues all three in a glorious
> firefight.

YAY!!!!!!!!!! Glorious firefight! Glorious firefight! Glorious
firefi--

Oh, good Lord. When precisely did I *get* like this?

Cindy? Are you *sure* there was nothing in that brandy
________________
Cindy ventures into the Bay proper. Wow. Earlier than I thought.
Though she doesn't actually set up permanent residence for a bit. 
Cindy -Message 35194 - However, I can see through my binoculars that
all is not well in the
Fourth Man two-person kayak. Indeed, it appears that the Fourth Man
has fallen overboard and is flailing helplessly, unable to haul his
ample backside to the beach. All is not lost, however. I have
tossed my pricey sunglasses into the sand and kicked off my sandals,
and I am about to do what I hope is a powerful and impressive
backstoke out to save the Fourth Man. With a little support, the
Fourth Man may be able to tread water until this summer when OoP can
complete the rescue.
and 
*Swallowed* the Fourth Man theory? I darn near gave it Mouth-to-
Mouth Resuscitation! OK, you have yourself a deal. Now move over,
because cramming three people into a two-person kayak is a bit tight.
________________
And Tabouli makes a point about certain listies and their reader
reaction by entering TBAY. And also has some fun. TBAY is obviously
continuously evolving and shifting. Things won't completely firm out
till the Header comes. 
Tabouli -Message 35200 -The peaceful Tabouli (the odd can(n)on on
behalf of LOLLIPOPS aside) eyes her
recent digests with alarm...

> Eileen, Officially bloodthirsty

Cindy and now Elkins (slathering and bouncing in their chairs):
> Ambushambushambush!!

Elkins (further into her increasingly vicious post):
> YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Bloody ambush! Bloody ambush! Bloody ambush!

The three HPFGU warmongers bounce menacingly in their chairs, chanting
their
battle slogan, plotting murder and mayhem in the Potterverse. Their
eyes are
wild, their mouths are frothing, their chants grow ever more menacing,
and the
future of the Potterverse slides behind a dark cloud. Fortunately for the
Potterverse, heroic Captain Tabouli espies their sinister festivities
through
her ship's telescope, and makes her stealthy way inland to the Owlery,
in the
hope of saving Wizardkind. A mere hour later she has managed to convince
Pigwidgeon, Errol and Hedwig to sacrifice their lives and feathers for the
cause, and is swiftly, silently closing in on the savage sofa
springers, ready
to smother and bind them all in...

F.E.A.T.H.E.R.B.O.A.S.! (Foaming Enthusiasts of Ambush, Torture, and
Hostility,
Embracing Really Bloodthirsty Operations And Savagery))

(as she leaps from her hiding place swinging her feathered lasso, it
fleetingly
occurs to Tabouli that if Pigwidgeon and Hedwig ever warmed to one
another they
could call each other Pig and Wig...)

AND
<Elkins grins and tosses a seashell lazily -- if with no real malice -
- out to sea in the general direction of the Good Ship
L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S.>

(the eagle eyes of the LOLLIPOPS crew members on watch immediately
spot this
disrespectful gesture, and lazily extend the daintiest of can(n)ons, known
affectionately as the Golden Peashooter. With an elegant puff of pink
smoke, a
pearl sized can(n)onball blows Elkins' seashell into fragments. The
crew grin,
and make mental notes to tell the Captain after her return from saving
the world
from the Federation of FEATHERBOAS.)
_______________
And here I am TBAYing in every sense of the word. As a side note,
reading my old posts is a painful experience. One-liners, me-toos,
off-topic posts, stupid little theories. Hey, I was only eighteen! And
I improved pretty quickly, talking with all the smart grown-ups on HPFGU! 
Eileen -   Message 35236- Arggggghhh, but this is problematic for me.
You see, your analysis
that strikes me as completely true is rather at odds with my own
attachment to LOLLIPOPS. I'll have to think about this one awhile. But
unlike Ambush theories, which can be modified and reorganized to suit
anyone, they may be unreconciliable. Captain Tabouli, help! I feel
this uncontrollable urge to jump ship, to this nice little rowboat of
Elkins's. A warm fuzzy voice is sounding in my mind. "Jump! Jump!"

You're Imperiusing me! You!
_________________________
Those confused by the Bay have always been around. Here's Eloise on
the matter. Eloise, though, overcame her confusion later to be one of
the Bay's more prominent residents. Eloise aquired a Snape theory's
sister and a castle to go with her later on. 
Eloise - Message 35266 - ow I've been here for a number of weeks
during which time a number of these
theories have come up, LOLLIPOPS being earlier (and I can just about cope
with that one, and nearly with CUPIDSBLUDGER despite never being able to
remember exactly what they stand for). I try to keep up, honestly I
do, but
it's hard and I just feel for the poor guys out there who've only just
arrived and who read these messages full of acronyms and obscure theory
names. It must be gibberish!
I know George was introduced, but somehow I missed him (I think I
assumed it
was a thread about George Weasley), which is a shame because I gather now
that he is a friend of mine. Sometimes new theories come up in posts I
haven't read (admits it) because, well, time is limited and there are
these
things called family and work and stuff and I have to select which
threads I
am most interested in. Then I find someone's said something key in a
post I
haven't read because it started life in a thread I wasn't following
and I'm
all at sea.

I know there is a site now for the acronyms (but where is it?). I just
wonder
if there isn't some way that these theories can be collected and
summarised
or whether perhaps they can be referenced to the message number where they
first appear. It's very hard to trace them back as the threads don't
necessarily have the theory name in the title.
Perhaps when a theory takes on this independent, named life, its
originator
could do a very short summary, give the original message number and
tack this
on as an addendum. Anyone taking up the thread could then just paste this
onto the end of their message so that anyone coming into the
conversation who
doesn't know for instance, what Mercy II is (me, for instance) could
come up
to speed.

Eloise. Tryng to keep her head above water but in grave danger of
drowning.
Hasn't anyone got a lifebelt....Please??
______________
More TBAY from me. 
Message 35298 - Eileen - From the brig of the Good Ship LOLLIPOPS,
where she has been put to
meditate her nearly accomplished mutiny, and to be restrained till the
madness has passed.
and 
Four in the kayak, actually.

Cindy: Move over!
Avery: I can't. (Begins to cry.)
Cindy: Toughen up, will you. I bet you eat ice-cream straight from
the carton while lying in bed
Avery: Forgive me! (shrieking) Cindy, forgive me!

Eileen

PS I still can't get over the fact that we've seriously gone into
analysing an almost non-existent character.
______________
Cindy refers to the Bay off-hand. 
Cindy - Message 35304 - Having pushed Avery overboard because his
sniveling was dancing on my
last good nerve, I must take one last shot at bringing someone --
anyone -- along on a few points:
and 
Cindy -- finding it lonely in the Ambush-On-Dumbledore's-Orders camp,
the Reverse-Memory-Charm camp, the Bagman-Is-A-DE camp, the Sirius-
Was-Having-His-Way-With-Florence camp, and the Snape-Has-A-Debt-To-
James camp, but consoling herself by eating all of the Smores
singlehandedly
_______________
And again. Though these Bay references are becoming so common on the
list, I've stopped cataloguing them. 
Cindy - Message 35318- I finally abandoned my booth on the dock to
help Charis Julia control
C.U.P.I.D'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. Now, I find myself bobbing in the waves
whilst clinging to a leaky inner-tube, becoming rather lightheaded as
I struggle to keep a bit of air in it, watching slack-jawed as Elkins
zips by in a souped-up jet ski.
_________________________-
Classic TBAY. The setting's the point, and I get a starring role. I
love this one. It followed off on and off-list discussions. 
Elkins -Message 35324 - She not-altogether-lacking-in-blood-thirst
herself Tabouli wrote:

> A mere hour later she has managed to convince Pigwidgeon, Errol and
> Hedwig to sacrifice their lives and feathers for the cause, and is
> swiftly, silently closing in on the savage sofa springers, ready to
> smother and bind them all in...

> F.E.A.T.H.E.R.B.O.A.S.! (Foaming Enthusiasts of Ambush, Torture, and
> Hostility, Embracing Really Bloodthirsty Operations And Savagery))

Elkins, blinking quizzically as she tries to deduce just what Cindy
might have *meant* when she just hissed "Take one for the team,
Elkins!" and shoved her off of the rock like that, catches her
balance, removes her pipe from her mouth to gesticulate, half-turns,
and has time for only the briefest of alarmed squawks before finding
herself lying on soft sand, wrapped head to toe in mangy old feather
boas. She thrashes wildly for a few moments then freezes, staring in
disbelief at the bloodied owl feathers -- the bloodied and yet
monstrously *familiar* owl feathers -- from which her bonds would
seem to be crafted.

"I--" she gasps, a look of sick horror slowly spreading across her
face. "Errol?" And then a hoarse, a disbelieving whisper: "*Pig*?"

"NO!" she screams, struggling madly to free herself from the remains
of these cruelly- and gratuitously-sacrificed minor characters.
"NO! Oh my God, Tabouli, what have you *done?* MURDERER!
MADWOMAN!! FIEND!!!!"

As she degenerates into incoherent hysteria, Elkins' alarmed
companions rush to her aid: Tough Cindy, who begins slapping her
repeatedly in the face while screaming, spit flying from the corners
of her mouth, "Suck it *up,* soldier! Suck it *up,* damn you!"; and
Amiable Eileen (looking cute as all get-out in that horned helmet she
always wears to our FEATHERBOAS meetings as a part of her blood-
thirsty "Lucky Kari" persona), who after a few futile attempts at
intervention ("Er...Cindy? I, um, don't think that that's
necessarily, um, helping. I think, you know, that the...the
*hitting* may be...well, it just might be increasing her sense of
anxiety..."), simply shrugs, sighs, shakes her head, and goes off to
brew a nice hot cup of tea.

Some time later, having restored a good deal of Elkins' equanimity
(or at the very least, her *sanguinity*) by whipping out her tattered
old cloth-bound copy of the _The Lord of the Rings_ and reading
aloud -- in a calm and soothing and unthreatening tone of voice --
that nice passage from "The Siege of Gondor" in which the forces of
Mordor demoralize their enemies by catapulting the heads of the
fallen over the walls of the city, Eileen admits:

> I said, "Crouch Jr., Lestranges, and another DE" to myself, and
> never even thought of it again. I also ask my long-suffering
> brother to explain commercials when we're watching TV. "But why was
> the guy standing there with the beer can?"

Elkins, by now only occasionally breaking into muffled sobs ("Pig...
Pig...oh, Tabouli, that wasn't necessary...it wasn't *necessary...*")
huddles shivering over her bloodied owl feathers and her nice hot cup
of tea, but still manages a watery smile for Eileen.

She wonders whether this would be a good time to admit that she
herself had to have the plot of "Star Wars" explained to her at least
seven times before she could even begin to understand what was
supposed to be happening in that film. ("But I don't understand!
What's a 'Droid?' And what's a 'Tractor Beam?' And why on earth did
they have to keep running around through all of those *corridors*?")

Before she can make a decision on this matter, however, Eileen is
snatched up by the crew of the Good Ship LOLLIPOPS and hauled off for
some Imperius-induced deprogramming below decks. Elkins contemplates
staging a rescue attempt for an entire three seconds before thinking
better of it. She finishes off her tea and stares down at the sand,
trying hard not to look out to sea.
and 
> PS I still can't get over the fact that we've seriously gone into
> analysing an almost non-existent character.

Non-existent! Non-exISTent?!?!

He has seven words of *dialogue,* Eileen! That's more than Lestrange
gets. Hell, it's even more than Arabella Figg gets, and you wouldn't
call *her* "almost non-existent," would you?

"Almost non-existent." Sheesh. Keep your voice down, will you?
You'll hurt Avery's feelings. As if it isn't bad enough that Cindy
wants to *drown* him...

Cindy:

> Having pushed Avery overboard because his sniveling was dancing on
> my last good nerve...

<Elkins gasps and leans over the side to haul Avery back in, very
nearly overbalancing the entire kayak>

Cindy! You *know* you can't do that! JKR *needs* him to -- just
cough it all up, Mr. Avery, that's right, that's super, sweetheart,
yes, you're doing fine -- *needs* him to fulfill his secondary
villain function in Book Five! You can't just -- oh, for God's sake,
Avery. Here. Take my jacket -- you can't just go *murdering* the
poor man like that. How's the poor wretch ever supposed to buy the
farm in Book Five if you've already...

Oh. Oh, dear. No, no, Mr. Avery, *please.* Please try to contain
yourself. I didn't mean it like that. I'm sure you'll survive all
the way to the end of the series. Yes, I'm *sure* of it! Honest, I
am. All I meant there was...

<exasperated sigh>

Oh, for God's sake, Cindy. Now you see what you've done?
and 
So cheer up. And give some of those Smores to Avery, will you? He's
chilled and upset; he's shivering. He needs the chocolate.
_________________
And TBAY is here. Sure, it develops much more later on. The line
between TBAY and non-TBAY creates itself. We get the Header and little
rules begin to emerge, but here it is in February and it's just about
to be taken up by quite a few listies to discuss that lovely
Snapethory: George. 

Eileen