About writing to an author (Was : Re: TBAY poll and Majority rule)

[Doriane]

North said (on not understanding a TBAY post):

> And I'd feel silly writing to the author and asking about this sort 
> of thing.

Amanda asked :

> Why?

To which Del replies :

I'm not talking for North or anybody else, but here's why *I* would 
feel silly. Maybe it's pride, maybe it's a sign of some deep 
pyschological problem, but I just can't force myself to ask about 
something I feel everyone else has understood. It goes back to 
elementary school at least. I would rather spend a great deal of time 
researching on my own, rather than ask the teacher, if I felt like 
all the other kids had understood that particular point. I didn't 
want to look *stupid*. And it's still the same now. My first instinct 
is always to try and guess, rather than ask. I have to make a 
conscious and big effort to do otherwise.

North said :

> Can't we all work together to find a solution to this?

Amanda replied : 
 
> It seems to me that writing to the author *would* be working 
> together. 

Del answers :

Not for me. Writing to the author would be making a fool of myself. 
It would mean signalling to someone whose work I'm interested in that 
I'm a fool stupid enough not to understand it, which is of course the 
last thing I'd want to do !

Amanda said :
 
> And if you don't understand it, why bother? I mean, nobody follows 
> all the nuances of every single thread. I have never seen that 
> there's all that much of a problem.

Del answers :

Call me a control freak if you like, but it makes me feel stupid to 
not understand something my fellows do. It makes me feel inferior. I 
have this deep-rooted belief that I must be smart to be respectable 
and respected. I guess it's just some kind of inferiority complex, 
but it's very powerful.

Del