Coming to England with side musings

[Melody <Malady579@malady579.yahoo.invalid>]

I wrote (mindlessly):
>I have never been around more than two "major" HP fans at once let
>alone the ones that can pronounce the names without a Texas accent
>being involved.

David prodded:
> But...  Melody, would you care to say which of us are "major" HP
> fans?
>
> If that's too hard to answer, at least you could tell us which ones
> are minor.


Well I can think of a few that I would call "minor," but I will not
confess those names here for obvious reason.  :)

But now I feel the need or rather desire to play the ever so much fun
game in Texas of "redneck" jokes: HP style.


not
----
If someone asks you what house Harry Potter is in at school, and you
say, after deep contemplating thought, a two story then you are
probably not a major HP fan.

When someone mentions phoenix, and you think they mean a city in
Arizona, then you probably are not a major HP fan.

If your next thought after hearing the names Lily and Petunia is of
your spring garden, then you are not a major HP fan.

If you think dueling is something that is only done with pistols, then
you are not a major HP fan.

If you think dumbledore is something you only do when drunk, then you
are not a major HP fan.  (dumble door, stumble door, stumble to the
door....oh nevermind)

If you think a basilisk is a new seasoning you add to soup, then you
are not a major HP fan.


are
---
When your Biology professor talks about the big bang, and the first
thing you think of is a captain and a paddle, then you are a major HP fan.

If you can recognize and apply in argument theses initials: PS, CoS,
PoA, GoF, OoP, HRH, MWPP, DE, SS, GG, MoM, DADA, CoMC, MD, PC, SU,
OBHWF, FITD, WW, MW, TMTMNBN, ESE, and JKR : then you are a major HP fan.

If upon watching the movies you can list *without* the book every line
that was not *in* the book, then you are a major HP fan.

If you have ever sat down and spent your entire weekend trying to
logically and mathematically figure out one or more of the following:
the number of students at Hogwarts, how the class schedule is blocked
out, the physical layout of Hogwarts, or how the times table for the
timeturner in PoA works, then you are a major HP fan.

If you have individual character sketches written meticulously of all
the tiny, silly details of each and every character ever mentioned in
the book filed away in red binders, then you are a major HP fan.

If you find yourself eyeing the rats in your local pet shop
suspiciously, then you are a major HP fan.

If you can name precisely which book, chapter (number or title), and
scene where we learn that the Potter's spy and betrayer was leaking
info on them for a year, then you are a major HP fan.

If you actually have a framed picture of Harry Potter on your
bookshelf, then you are a major HP fan.  (Posters and figurines will
also be accepted.)
----

Ok ok, I will stop.  Just in one of those odd moods tonight.  It seems
Saturday is the best day for all since everyone but Pip and Neil seem
to not care which day.  Can we say Saturday it is?


Melody