Al's LONG Review w. multiple SPOILERS!

[dracos_boyfriend at yahoo.co.uk]

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1) How to Approach Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone.

Go in *not* expecting a miracle.  This is a substantial and 
complicated children's novel boiled down into barely 2 and a 1/2 
hours, which is simply *not* enough time to do the original creation 
any kind of justice.  As such, expect the bare bones of the bare 
bones of the actual plot, expect keynote scenes to have been changed 
and moved around - expect it to be, essentially, very different from 
the book.  Go in with an open mind like this, and you will *enjoy* it 
much more than if you go in expecting a blow-by-blow rendition of the 
original text, because that is what you won't get.

2) Get the hint!

Above all ... go ... this is easily the most stunning movie I have 
seen all year.

3) Two Bits That Sucked In My Opinion.

My really big bad points before the mix of good, not so good and 
blatant obsessive compulsive nitpicks.  There were two major points 
at which the movie jarred for me.  The opening of the film moved very 
quickly, and you need your wits about you simply to keep up.  One 
minute we're in the cupboard with Harry - the very next in the zoo 
with a boa constrictor (from Burma for some weird reason, but let's 
not get too LOONY here) the very next we're getting stuff in Diagon 
Alley (the Ollivander cameo is one of the best scenes in the flick, 
btw) and the next Harry's off to Hogwarts.  Columbus and Kloves have 
somehow contrived to make it very difficult to tell that time is 
indeed passing as it does in the books.  If one hadn't read the book, 
one could be forgiven for thinking that Harry found out he was a 
wizard, got his books and was off to Hogwarts on the same day, which 
we know to be a falsehood.  Equally there was no sense that the 
school year was passing us by, other than 'marker' scenes, such as 
Halloween, Christmas, and the exams.  It could so easily have taken 
place over a week or so.

The other major thing that stood out for me was the dialogue between 
Harry and Firenze the centaur in the Forbidden Forest.  This was 
quite simply the most *appalling* piece of screenplay I have ever 
witnessed - it was contrived and above all, badly acted.

4) The Adults.

Ollivander (John Hurt?, or Ian, I can never remember - anyhow) was 
incredibly good.  John Cleese was rubbish.  Maggie Smith was 
everything I expected her to be (i.e - she was f**king amazing) and 
Zoe Wannamaker stole her scene.  Robbie Coltrane naturally served to 
hold the entire film together (despite his slightly confused accent 
which seemed to drift from Scottish to Devon by way of the USA) - and 
Hagrid had some killer running gags along the way which were not 
served up in the books - an unexpected and pleasant bonus for me.  I 
came away with more respect for Hagrid than the books have instilled 
in me - I freely admit I don't like Hagrid in canon or fanon.

Both Dursleys were incredibly well done (Richard Griffith and Fiona 
Shaw) and I was left wanting to see more of them.  Griffith's Vernon 
especially was just camp enough without being ridiculous.  Fiona Shaw 
is a great actress anyway, and came into her own during the Hut on 
the Rock scene.  Quirrell was likewise good, and also got a few good 
lines, Verne Troyer and Warwick Davis were both in fine fettle ... 

Alan Rickman ... oh dear me ... yes, Alan ... dear old Snapey.  He 
was abso-bloody-lutely wonderful!  Rickman played his part a la 
Sheriff of Nottingham in Prince of Thieves - with the knob turned up 
until it fell off - superb hamminess (is that a word) and perfect 
delivery.  Such a shame then, that Snape didn't figure very highly at 
all.

There was more of Filch than I expected there to be, but that's 
okay.  Whoever played James and Lily Potter were also fine, even 
though their role consisted principally of looking affectionately at 
Harry - the actors look right, in my opinion, and this bodes well for 
future installments when we see more of them.

Julie Walters as Molly Weasley didn't work at all.  She looked wrong 
in the role, she sounded wrong in the role - I was getting very, very 
strong Mrs O from Acorn Antiques vibes from her ... (for those not in 
the know, Acorn Antiques was a spoof soap opera on a 1980's comedy 
show fronted by Julie Walters, Celia Imrie and Victoria Wood) ... as 
we discussed post-pelicula, Pam Ferris would've been soooooooo much 
better.

Also, Richard Harris' Dumbledore didn't quite gel.  I don't feel he 
approached the part with anything touching the conviction that he 
should've done.  Dumbledore is supposed to come across to Harry at 
this stage as a wise, benevolent protector, strong and so on but a 
little eccentric.  Harris came across as a bit of a weakling in the 
role.  Much as I wanted to, I couldn't extract Dumbledore-vibes from 
him.  A shame.  Hopefully they will do better next time round (and 
cast Brian Blessed in the role, as I have been arguing all along)

5) The Kids.

What we went to see, really.  I'll start with Rupert, because he 
absolutely stole the entire show.  Dan may be sweet and Emma may be 
Hermione, but Rupert was just incredible.  You could scarcely believe 
the kid has never acted before - if you're anything like me you 
despair at most child actors - I find Haley Joel Osment particularly 
irksome, and I cannot watch ET without cringing at Henry Thomas and 
Drew Barrymore as Elliot and Gertie.  However, I was getting none of 
this with Rupert.  Sure, he sounded a little too estuarine for a kid 
who we understand is meant to be a west-country lad, but he had the 
pick of the lines, and was genuinely superb.  The film indubitably 
belongs to Ron.

Dan was likewise good, although even with the dubbing, one can detect 
his voice veering quite wildly and randomly between high and husky - 
poor ickle woobiekins.  However, as Harry is the keynote role in the 
whole shebang, the casting was naturally the best it could be (though 
I still maintain they should've cast *me*) and Dan didn't 
disappoint.  The boy's a natural, an absolute natural and he carried 
off a difficult part with wit and great flair.  Brilliant.  If I can 
fault him at all, I have to say that as he was required to look 
bemused and amazed pretty much all the time, he tended to ham it up a 
bit, and there were times when the old gaping mouth routine wore a 
little thin.  Baby Harry was cute, but resembled Pubert from The 
Addams Family Values (1993).

I think I have fallen in love with Oliver Wood.  Mmmm.  Maybe in a 
couple of years time.

Hermione - grated a little, to be frank.  Just a bit too prim, but 
very, very Hermionic, and Emma's a gifted wee lassie, without a 
doubt.  I can't really fault the part.  Occasionally she verged on 
the cringe-making - and she sadly lost a few of her good lines and 
sequences (the potion bottles test to find the stone was discarded 
completely, and the Devil's Snare changed - although the exchange 
between her and Dan, with Rupert screaming in the background, was 
absolutely priceless - typical trio stuff).  I like Hermione, I've 
decided.

The other Weasleys - Gred n' Forge barely figured.  I was so 
disappointed!  Ginny was perfectly sweet for her single line, and 
Percy was Percy, really.  I have ranted before about how I think he 
was mis-cast - the actor is wooden and his delivery is worse than 
Ikea.  He should stick to Gilbert & Sullivan am-dram in the local 
village hall.

The Gryffindors - Neville had a Yorkshire accent - I wasn't expecting 
it but it actually added something to the part.  Devon Murray's 
Seamus Finnegan was the subject of a rather amusing running gag which 
I won't spoil here - suffice to say it was funny.  Lee Jordan we saw 
once, but I can't really comment.  The Patils were nowhere to be seen.

The Slytherins - Crabbe and Goyle looked menacing and therefore 
served their purpose perfectly adequately.  Not a shining 
performance, but then I didn't expect one.  But Tom Felton ... ooh.  
Too cute and far too much gel in his hair.  But nice delivery, he had 
a menacing air about him and a fair bash at a bit of upper class 
snobbery.  I liked him a lot.  The scene in the Forest in which, as 
Harry backs away from the Quirrell/Voldemort creature-thing, the 
eagle-eyed viewer will spot Draco running across the back of the set, 
waving his lantern and screaming.  Absolutely priceless!  I want more 
Tom next time round.

6) Scenes.

Like I already said, this isn't the book, so as long as you go in 
knowing that, the scene changes won't jar you too much.  People have 
made much of the fact that Draco didn't threaten Harry on the train.  
This sequence was shifted to the point at which the kids are waiting 
to be called into the Great Hall for the Sorting, and as such, 
actually works *better* - Draco's humiliation as Harry turns down 
what I believe (through my Draco-obsession) to be a genuine attempt 
at establishing a friendship, is plain for all to see, and as such 
his motivation for his hatred of and obsession with Harry is made all 
the more convincing.

Other notable changes were the shortening of the Norbert sequence - 
no sign of Charlie Weasley - in the movie Dumbledore arranged for 
Norbert to be sent to Romania, and the scene in which Harry, Hermione 
and Neville (or Ron, in the movie) are caught by McGonagall was 
changed radically, for the worse, I feel, although it by no means 
detracted.

I was disappointed to lose Piers Polkiss at the beginning, as I 
would've liked to have seen Columbus establish just how miserable 
Harry's life really was.

Equally, I was sorry to see Snape's potion challenge to find the 
stone vanish into a puff of smoke.  Christmas scenes lost out due to 
the omission of the Weasleys and Percy.  One sensed that Kloves only 
paid half attention to the book as he scripted the film.  Hence Ron's 
line to Harry about how it looks as if Harry has been sent a Weasley 
jumper too - we don't see Harry wearing it or being thankful for the 
thoughtfulness - we merely cut to the unwrapping of the Invisibility 
Cloak.

And another thing.  Hermione was far too friendly with the boys 
before the troll attack.  In one sequence they seem to be getting 
along fine - the next moment, Ron is delivering the 'no wonder nobody 
can stand her' line with little or no motivation based on what the 
audience has just seen.  Oh, and James Potter played Chaser for 
Gryffindor, not Seeker.

7) Product Placement.

Oh dear me.  Did they honestly think we wouldn't notice that every 
single car parked in the driveways of every single house on Privet 
Drive was a Vauxhall?  To their credit, the models were updated 
between the baby Harry and 11 y/o Harry scenes (from old style Astras 
to Omega estates, if anybody cares) ... but the uniformity of it all 
served to remind me that I was watching a movie, which is not what I 
want to happen.  Big, big rap over the knuckles for that, I fear.

8) Sets & Visuals.

Simply the best I have seen in a long time.  I was as awe-inspired as 
I was at 11 watching Jurassic Park for the first time.  The Quidditch 
scene was superbly done - edge of the seat stuff with a rollicking 
good score to go with it.  Loads of action and illegal fouls by the 
Slytherins.  The suspension of my belief (and the loss of credibility 
for the movie) was sadly incurred as Harry 'surfed' along the handle 
of the Nimbus 2000 in order to catch the snitch, but that was okay.  
I loved the Quidditch to bits.  

Likewise, the enchanted ceiling was nicely done, the floating candles 
were a lovely touch, and the changing of the banners at the end was 
very cool.  I was also impressed with the flashback scene in Godric's 
Hollow, as well as the shot of the owls perched all over number 4, 
Privet Drive at the start.

Superb use of slight, shooting and locations that really made you 
believe in the film.  The closing shot of Hogwarts Castle rising 
above Hogsmeade Station as the train puffs away is especially moving 
(I had tears in my eyes at that point anyway - the Leaving Hogwarts 
theme that was being played is a beautiful piece of music).

The Castle itself.  Stunning visually for what was, after all, a 
set.  The moving staircases were executed originally and nicely.  The 
portraits, which we could occasionally spot gesturing in the 
background, were good too.  The whole design and look of the place 
was very much how I had expected it to be.  Simply beautiful.

Privet Drive - the Dursleys home *is* my Uncle's!  It's incredible.  
He and my Aunt and Cousins live in a house like that on a new estate 
in Southend in appalling, chintzy taste!  That kitchen was hideous!  
The decor was foul!  The Dursleys' fashion sense was sickening!  All 
in all, it was a very British stereotype, but an enormously fun one, 
all the same!  Excellent stuff!

9) To Sum It Up.

This movie is without any shadow of a doubt, one of the best I have 
ever seen in my life.  I wanted to go in again as soon as I came out, 
and was shooting jealous glares at the lucky, lucky bastards queuing 
to get in - and that to me is the mark of a premier league picture.  
The fact that I have waited a year and more for this, and that I feel 
in some way I have been on board since its inception (as I think many 
of us do) makes me feel especially close to the work (I'm therefore 
horribly biased) ... I had a couple of tearful moments, I laughed 
along with everyone else, and I could've taken a gun to the head of 
that idiot usher who kept walking up and down in front of me.  Best 
of all, I couldn't get up at the end.  It was somehow very important 
to sit through the credits and to see out this masterpiece.  There is 
no way on earth you cannot fail to be bowled over by it.  Sure, 
there's things missing, there's dodgy bits, there's a bit of awkward 
characterisation, but at the end of the day, Philosopher's Stone 
stands well out for what it is - a damn good fable for our times.  It 
was everything I had expected it to be and more besides.  The music 
married the pictures exquisitely well, the sweeping, booming bits of 
the score, the miltaristic tattoo of the chessboard scene, the 
sadness of the closing sequence, the tinkly parts of Hedwig's Theme, 
the sense of bustle and purpose and pomposity and wonder.  Some would 
say the music makes or breaks a film.  In this case, it made it, and 
then some.  In the limited time available to them, Columbus and 
Williams and Kloves somehow created a startlingly true rendition of 
JKR's world with great skill.  It was amazing for me to be able to 
see the places and people and things that I have thought about 
(dreamed, on occasion) come to life so very vividly.  For me, it was 
the culmination of a dream I've had since I first heard they were 
making a film.  I take my hat off to it.

Ladies and Gentlemen ... I rather think we have a new canon to enjoy 
and explore ...

And I think it is clear, that we can expect great things from it.

Al
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Who is now going to stick his head in a bucket of cold water and work 
himself into another frenzy in time for Friday ... yippeee!
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