yipes! cripes! gripes!

[chanteuse thalia chaunacy]

properly disclaimed: haven't read the book in a while. this is all 
opinion.
properly warned: i mis-spell names a lot.
properly explained: 'hits and misses' is an old summer camp discussion 
tactic. ('neither' means it's simply a point of interest)

chronologically by incident--
hit: the cookie-cutter muggle houses
hit: the sunlit dust stirred up by Dobby's bed-jumping
hit: the 'Which Owl?' book under Harry's glasses on his nightstand
hit: the Burrow!  (i can't express how enchanted i am with it)
miss: Mrs. Weasley's unfortunate 'Diagon Alley' line (there are better 
transitions to be found, even for such a splendid actress)
hit: Mr. Weasley's inquiry about the rubber duck!  (i actually guffawed!)
hit: Percy's morning hair at the Weasley breakfast table
hit: floo powder (impressively wizardy)
miss: Harry's 'diagonally' mistake (totally unbelievable)
miss: the hand in The Evil Store With No Name
neither: Hermione's decidedly un-bushy hair in a few scenes
miss: Ginny's 'leave him alone' to Draco in defense of Harry (talk about 
out of nowhere)
hit: Mr. Weasley not fighting with Mr. Malfoy (shows more integrity than 
getting in a brawl)
miss: Draco making eyes at Ron after 'see you at school' line in bookstore
both: flying car scene (miss: Ron screaming 'hold on' as if Harry would 
do anything but. hit: Harry saying 'your hands are all sweaty'.  hit: the 
car spitting them out, sound effects & everything)
hit: McGonnagal's hats
miss: Hermione during mandrake scene
hit: Sprout and the mandrakes
hit: the Howler
miss: the dead five seconds after the Howler
hit: the pixie riding the dinosaur skeleton
miss: Hermione being the one to explain 'mudblood' (i'm a Ron/Hermione 
shipper, it's much more touching to have him explain it)
miss: Ron's arachniphobia explaination's absence
miss: lack of reaction (esp teachers!) to Malfoy using 'mudblood' the 
second time
hit: the teachers' reactions to Lockhart
hit: the staircase shot (a brilliant and beautiful transition)
miss: Hermione asking McGonnagal to explain about the Chamber (i totally 
didn't buy it)
miss: fast walking during an important conversation (slow walking would 
have been fine, but they were practically dashing while having an intense 
coversation about the probable heir of slytherin)
both: the quidditch match (hit: the action camerawork was great.  miss: 
the chase went on for far too long.  miss: Lucius' hat made me giggle.  
miss: Draco's oh-so-insulting 'scarhead' sounded ridiculous. miss: Harry 
was way too uneffected by his shattered arm)
miss: Harry spitting out his medicine (perhaps i just don't think Harry 
would be that childish)
miss: McGonnagal's 'you know--i think he's been petrified!' (wins my vote 
for worst line)
hit: oh-so-subtle shot of chamber opening (girls' bathroom sinks) right 
after Dumbledore ominously says 'The Chamber of Secrets has been opened 
again.'
hit: Ron leaning roguishly against the stall in the girls' bathroom.
miss: gaping plothole where the kids should have been taught a blocking 
spell
hit: mid-air snake shot
hit: 'cheers' and clinking of polyjuice glasses
draco: 'i didn't know you could read'
hit: the Slytherin common room scene
hit: Moaning Myrtle's laugh, especially at Hermione's cat-ness
miss: never getting an explaination as to why Harry 'reads' the diary all 
by himself
miss: 'let me take you back 50 years ago' (welcome to the department of 
redundancy department!)
both: the diary flashback (hit: the sepia-tone minus Harry. hit: the 
first part.  miss: the second part.  miss: the wind and slow-mo yelling 
on the way out.)
miss: Fudge (the amount of make-up he had on. an urge to hit him because 
of his actions in later books.)
hit: the bow in Lucius' hair (real men wear bows)
miss: spider scene (Ron being a wuss & Harry being a bully got really old 
really quickly)
hit: stunt-driving in a Ford
hit: the wig on Lockhart's desk
neither: those sure are some big ole sewage pipes
miss: why does Harry let Lockhart threaten them?  does he not have a wand 
too?
neither: Ron knocking Lockhart out with rock (totally in character, which 
makes Ron's character interesting, but still makes me cringe)
hit: the eight-snake door thing
miss: the acid Ginny flashbacks (what's wrong with normal filters and 
angles?)
miss: the glaring pause before Fawkes' first entrance
miss: Harry tripping while running from basilisk
neither: Harry walking on water
miss: Harry's big blink when the basilisk corners him
neither: crucifix pose of 'dying' Riddle
miss: windblown Harry while Riddle's 'dying'
hit: Fawkes
neither: 'Phoenix tears have healing powers' (didn't seem redundant 
because i hardly caught it when Dumbledore said it the first time)
hit: Harry's line to Ginny- 'It's just a memory.' (well-written)
hit: Dumbledore's heartwarming speech (actually intelligent & meaningful 
this time)
miss: unsubtle lighting on Lucius in Dumbledore's office
miss: Harry's ugly ankle (perhaps it was an ugly shoe's)
hit: Lucius' wand/cane
neither: it *did* sound like lucius started 'avada ...'
miss: Lucius' silly pointing after Dobby magicks him across the floor
hit: Percy and Penelope!
hit: shot of Ron & Harry tilting out to see Hermione come into the Hall 
(but remember where my ship docks)
hit: handshake & Ron's line (i repeat ... R/Hr forever)
miss: the last ten minutes of the movie (the whole school having a 
happiness fit over Hagrid totally boggled my mind.  i actually turned to 
my boyfriend and asked him what the hell was going on.  cheap easy way to 
end a movie on a good note.  too bad it made no sense.  Hermione's tears 
bugged me too.  Then John Williams put three utterly drawn-out tonic 
chords at the end ... more megalomaniacal than Beethoven at his worst.  
ylech!)

in general:
hit: the music (cheesy but enchanting)
hit: the boys' changing voices (well used in frightened!Ron scenes)
miss: house-elves (their abuse [self- and other] really gets on my 
nerves, not in the sense that they should be freed, but in the 
sense that they shouldn't have been invented, kinda like jar-jar)
neither: lack of Ginny's crush on harry
hit: Hogwarts! (stunningly beautiful, right down to the greenhouses)
hit: Daniel's eyes (i don't care if they're not green, they're *gorgeous*)
hit: Hermione always saving the day with the right spell
neither: the sound effects on the boneless arm (they were cheesy but they 
made everybody laugh)
miss: the dueling spells all doing the same un-original thing (not okay)
miss: parseltoungue being heard as another language.  (not okay *and* 
incredibly cheesy)
miss: the fact that harry's spectacles are useless pieces of metal with 
no lenses. (i know, i know, it's for lighting purposes, but it's so 
obvious!)
hit: the camerawork (mostly. dramatic but interesting)
miss: (but entertaining nonetheless) Draco's magic color-changing hair
miss: Christian Coulson.  no exceptions.  blech was he awful.
hit: the rest of the cast, noticably A.Rickman, M.Smith, whoever played 
Lucius, K.Branaugh, whoever played Crabb & Goyle, and D.Radcliffe

THE BIG THEORY
(and this ain't coming out of my ear; i started acting on stage at age 7 
and have taught theatre to many kids.)

*beautiful* casting but *sketchy* (dodgy, uneven) acting.  this is always 
a risk, especially when using un-experienced children.

casting was be based on personality *or* acting ability, but not both. 
with the kids, they used personality.  with the adults (once again noting 
boneheaded exception) they used acting ability.  and it worked.  the 
adults are all amazing actors that can fit themselves into the characters 
(CC being the noted boneheaded exception).  the kids are all amazing 
personalities that can act -- well, kind of.

that's where my gripe is.  chris columbus should have stuck to directing 
and hired an acting coach for the kids.  (if he did this, somebody 
correct me and i'll hide in a corner).  all of them, which the exception 
of whoever played crabb & goyle, tend to overact.  kids have so much 
energy, and doing the same five minutes twelve times tends to force the 
energy into the wrong places (ie useless/unnatural gesticulation, 
ridiculously expressive delivery).  i wish someone had been there 
specifically to coach Rupert on his hands and Tom on his enunciation.  
but when all is said and done, i still see the *essence* of Ron and Draco 
no matter how badly the lines are delivered.  and that's good casting.

geez-o
thanks to anybody that held on this long
thalia