Probably the most thorough review written...:-D

[Megan]

(only because I'm extremely obsessive and it's been edited about 8
times already!)

OH. MY. GOD.

I share everyone's sentiment EXACTLY about Tom Riddle.  He is
like...dear gracious, and the Parseltongue...I cannot speak.  I was
squirming throughout that ENTIRE sequence.  Whoever said
sex-on-a-stick was completely dead-on.  I want that DVD NOW so I can
watch the chamber scene 4569 million times in a row.  That whole
sequence was absolutely SPECTACULAR.  I was about to DIE in my chair.
 Christian Coulson was AMAZING as Tom Riddle and the dynamics between
him and Harry in the chamber, the dialogue before the basilisk
came...couldn't have been more brilliantly executed.  It was
just...again, amazing.  Want him right there, on the cold marble floor
:-P.

In addition to the above, we'll do the bits that were done right
first.  I love the Burrow.  The set was very cute and most of the
scenes located there were well-done and very fitting with the story. 
Dobby was not as bas as we'd all been expecting, but that still
doesn't mean I like him.  I mean, I hate him in the books, so I'm
still going to hate him in the movie.

Gosh, Jason Isaacs was FABULOUS as Lucius Malfoy.  Couldn't have been
better acted.  Thank goodness he did not let Columbus's poor directing
make his character fall victim.  Same for Branagh as Lockhart.  I'd
almost venture to say the Lockhart presented in the movies was almost
BETTER than the books, though of course, working in a diminished
capacity.  His lines were funny and the acting was again fabulous.  I
would really venture to say he deserves an Emmy nomination for this
performance.  He completely WAS Lockhart, I had extreme difficulty
thinking of him as Branagh while watching the film.  Fab again for
Rickman, per norm, and as a nice side-effect, Professor Sprout.

The spider scene was positively gripping, creepy, gross, and almost
terrifying--and I don't even MIND spiders all that much.  Again, a
very well done sequence, though didn't like the lead-in, but we'll get
to that later.

The film IS actually as scary, bloody, and gorey as they've been
saying.  I was actually surprised at some of the gore they DID show. 
It was pretty realistic and not toned down really at all.  I can see
why kids would be frightened at certain parts.  It got pretty messy at
moments (cannot believe they showed the csword going thround the
basilisk's mouth...EW!)--THE SPIDER AROUND RON'S NECK?!  Holy cow,
that was awesomely freaky.

Quidditch looked much better and the part where the Bludger chases
Malfoy and Harry through the stands was quite cool.  When the Bludger
smacked into his arm...*shudders*  Well, just, URGH.  The flying parts
were kept shorter, and therefore less dizzy-ing.  Though I do believe
there were some canonical errors in the placement of players & what
they'd being doing, I don't feel like nitpicking at that.  Not
everyone is as particular as I.

The small bit in Knockturn Alley (those of you who have seen it will
know what I mean...this is NOT to be spoiled.  I am so glad I didn't
know about it ahead of time like everything else!) was a really
awesome small addition to canon.  It's the little things sometimes &
they add up.

Moaning Myrtle was done relatively decently, though I think some her
acting was a little...over-acting.  Just kind of campy to me.  And the
Polyjuice was quite cool and pretty well done on the Crabbe & Goyle
(Harry & Ron :-P) part, but we'll get to Malfoy later.

Ummm, onto the bad because until I unload all this, I can't think of
any more good things :-P.  As they come, then: PACING.  Good grief, I
will be SO GLAD when the 3rd one comes out and Columbus is NOT the
director.  He's awful at it, truly.  Some of the cinematography was
completely off and awkward for whatver scene it was shooting.  The
pacing was completely horrid.  Columbus needs to learn the word
TRANSITION.  I know the film had to have a lot packed into it, but I
absolutely hated how a scene would just END and then immediately go on
to the next one with no segway.  It made the film very choppy and
probably completely non-sensical to any non-readers.  That is 95% of
what my complaints about this film are.  Under another director, I
think this film could have been potentially brilliant mostly as is,
with just changes in directing.

Also, some of the script.  Why does Kloves like to change lines for no
reason?  Leave things be and bugger off.  Grr.

Lucius SO did start to say 'Avada' at the end.  GRR. *murders
whoever's idea that was*

Getting under my skin the more I think of it: RON IS NOT A RETARD. 
RON IS NOT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE SIDE-KICK.  Ron is BRAVE.  Ron is
IMPORTANT, believe it or not.  They take away EVERYTHING Ron is good
for in Book 2 and give it to someone else, making him look like the
chicken, bumbling sidekick that he truly isn't.  Poor Grint does a
good job with what they give him, but they give him POTS.  Granted,
some of the stuff IS valid, but the vast majority of the crap he had
to deal with in the film is just...awful.  Why are they trying to make
him look so stupid?  Ron isn't.  I like Ron, but in the film I'm more
inclined to dismiss him and call him stupid...only see him as Harry's
little sidekick there for comic relief and minor entertainment.  NO. 
Ron is 3D.  Why can you make Hermione into something she's NOT, but
then flatten Ron completely? (very...just I don't like how they
changed Hermione's character.  It wasn't really BAD in the film, just
not canon, so I can't truly complain.)

Can I ever say how much I don't really like Emma Watson?  I'm sure
some of it isn't ALL her fault, but I just don't like her.  She's not
Hermione & I don't think she ever will be.  And Kloves must have a
thing for her, because if I hadn't known better, I might've thought
the movie was called <i>Hermione at Hogwarts</i>.  Hmph.

Again, the whole chamber scene?  Gosh, it was good, but the cheesiness
was AWFUL at the end.  The music was BLARING when Fawkes came 'round
to heal Harry and I want to chuck my popcorn at the screen.  Cut down
the music and the Cheese-O-Meter and make it what it's SUPPOSED to be,
Columbus.  Actually, 95% of that part was the music.  Turn it off or
down a lot, and that scene wouldn't have been nearly as bad.

Can I say again that Coulson was completely awesome?

Repeating everyone else's review: cut the last scene.  It plain
sucked.  Stick to canon and we'll all get out of here alive.

Okay, was Harry supposed to be DYING in the chamber, because I
honestly couldn't tell.  Let's hope this Columbus's trashy directing
and not a reflection of Daniel's skills, because I have say most
everywhere else, he's good actor here, but this was just AWFUL.  He
could've died and I almost wouldn't have CARED.

Justin Finch-Fletchey was SO not attractive, no matter what people
say.  Again with wonky editing: the whole Hufflepuffs leer at me--wha!
part was just odd.  And wrong in the movie.  Cut it out.  But I have
to agree, that he was undeniably straight.  So much for the slash in
THAT part.  But was decidedly wonky.

And I don't mean to be awful person, but I'm VERY GLAD Dumbledore is
getting re-cast.  I think Harris was never suited for it (actually,
I've never like Harris as an actor entirely) and he just sucks all the
fun out of Dumbledore's scene.  When Harry's in his office after the
chamber part, that scene drags on for sooooo long before Lucius comes.
 Poor Daniel can't help it, really, it's mostly Harris's completely
dull and slow Dumbledore.  Sorry to speak ill of the dead, but it's
completely true.

The kids were tons better this go around, but is it just me or is Tom
Felton not that great of an actor?  I honestly cannot tell if it is
the bad direction or just him not being good.  And what is WITH him
being a klepto?  Again, get a clue, Columbus.  That was totally
unnecessary.  We'll see in POA if my suspicions are confirmed about
Felton.  I so cannot WAIT for that movie.  If it's botched, I'm going
to want to die.

This movie was solely designed to send us all to the Bad Place, I'm
convinced.  Why else would Malfoy grab his crotch in the middle of it?
:-P  And the H/Hr shipping about drove me MAD, because it was so
cheeeeesy.  STOP FORCING THINGS DONE OUR THROATS!  There's a little
thing called fine subtlety to get things like this across.  And this
little movie was probably a slasher's dream because you could take
almost anything in this movie and make subtext out of it.

The Whomping Willow was also quite awesome.  In fact, all the action
sequences in this film totally kicked arse.  And there were a lot of
them!  It really made it (the film) suspenseful and gripping, even
though I already knew the outcome!  But again, it was like all the
action scenes were shoved together and one was right after another,
like boom boom boom!  Hey we're at the Durseleys!  Hey we're in a car!
 Hey we're at the Burrow  Hey we're in a car again!  Hey we're at
Hogwarts!  Hey we're in Herbology!  Hey, look weird voices are talking
to me.  As must as I hate to say it, kill some of the purely action
sequences (or condense them...Whomping Willow was about as twice as
long as it needed to be) and work on...*gasp* actual characters (wow,
what a concept)!

I have just now realized (and this is an edit), that actually Harry's
entire character was incredibly wonky.  WTF is up with that!? 
Columbus killed Harry. He is so not Harry of canon.  Okay, maybe
KLOVES killed Harry, but someone did & it wasn't Daniel.

I actually didn't mind Riddle being Basil Exposition TOO much. 
Someone had to do it.  McGonagall as expo. blowed.  Do it...just find
some other way to get the chamber legend out, because that SO didn't work.
 
The diary was botched.  There wasn't suffiecient backstroy explaining
it and how Harry would've even KNOWN to write in it in the first
place.  Same for Ginny.  It's like she was there briefly in the
beginning and then *gasp*, she's in the chamber...wtf?  Ginny's entire
plotline (which was, coincidentally, THE PLOT FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE)
was completely screwed up.  Either use Ginny or not, but please make
up your mind.  Cutting done all wrong.  You can't assume we've read
the books Columbus, because this is a MOVIE, not an addendum to the
novel.  I feel very sorry for anyone who saw this and has never/will
never read COS.  Because it doesn't suck if you know the true story, I
promise.

High points: action, acting, visual effects, CHAMBER SCENE, TOM
RIDDLE, spiders, flying car, and just an overall more improved feeling.

Low points: pacing, lack of transitions, botched backstory, script
problems, Ron's characterization, Hermione's characterization, last
scene, and sometiems just plain awkwardness.

Well, I know I will never-ever be finished, because I will be adding
things for at least a week that I've forgotten to talk about.

But, I can say...if I had to die tonight, I would die a happy girl. 
Would you hurt me if I said I can't wait to see it again? *grins*