[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: Question #159

[Neil Ward]

SML said:

<<Time for another item from "The Book of Questions".... #159.  If you had
the choice of one intimate soulmate and no other close friends, or of no
such soulmate and  many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?>>

As usual, I can't give a direct answer to this question without asking how
we define friendship and where we draw the line.  Is a friend:

-someone you see socially on a regular basis?
-someone you know well and like?
-someone with whom you have shared life-changing experiences?
-someone with whom you have bonded instantly?

Also, when does an acquaintance become a friend and a friend become a close
friend?

The people I regard as my inner circle of friends are those with whom I have
shared emotional highs and lows and a few with whom there was some instant
chemistry.  The first group includes several people who did not seem likely
friends at first sight.  The latter group is more interesting; they are the
people who almost came with the label "Neil's friend" on their collar; those
with whom I was completely relaxed from the word "hello"; those who were, I
have absolutely no doubt, bonded with me in a previous life.   [...leans
over to turn down the pretentiousness meter...]

There is one person I regard as my best friend (and, luckily, he also sees
me as his), but we are not soulmates.  I have about eight close friends who
serve as a sounding board on various levels; I like to get a second opinion
on most things, and a third, and even a fourth.  I think my soulmate is
inside me, so to speak, as I am a true introvert.

Okay, decision made:  I would choose to have many friends and acquaintances,
because the direction of my life has been changed more often by an
acquaintance than by a close friend.  A close friend supports you and isn't
afraid to tell you the truth, but an acquaintance sees you as an outsider
and brings you new things.  Life is change.

Neil
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