FILK: My Name is...

[Nethilia De Lobo]

This is the first Filk I've ever written, and
personally, I HATE this artist and all rap music, but
after seeing that one line in CoS, this song has stuck
in my head. That and the idea that Tom's name is
spelled "Ryddle" which means they might change the
phrase to "My Name is Lord Voldemort." Anyways, my
most interesting filk.... O_o There's no cursing, I
made sure.

*~*~*
My Name Is
(Based on My Name is by Slim Shady)

(Enter VOLDEMORT, standing in the graveyard and newly
born with the Death Eaters around him. HARRY and
CEDRIC are there--Cedric lives for filk reasons)

VOLDEMORT: 
Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. Lord Voldy!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is..Lord Voldy!

Ahem.. excuse me! Can I have the attention of Harry
Potter for one second?

(HARRY as he is still tied to the gravestone, shoots
him a look)

VOLDEMORT:
Hi kids! Do you like violence? 
Wanna see me what I can do to three Mudbloods and a
Squib?
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? 
Be a Slythrin and end up exactly like I did?
My bodys now got weight, I'm tryin to get my life
straight
but I can't figure out which soul I should make
stagnate
And Dumbledore said, "Tom Riddle you a good lad, 
So why'd you turn bad? Got folks scared mad."
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause my father dropped my mother when she told him
her true self (Witch!)
Got ticked off and bumped that whole family off 
And left them there to let the Muggle gardener catch
the fall off 
Ill smoke off Cedric last, leave him lying on the
grass *kills Cedric*
waitIve revealed the plotline too fast
C'mere Ginny!

HARRY:
Voldy, wait a minute, that's Ron Weasleys little
sister!

VOLDEMORT:
I dont give a care, heck--I wont even miss her!

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name isLord Voldy!
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name isLord Voldy!

Myrtle the mublood was at Hogwarts in my time
Swotty little gitll was the first one to die
I went ahead and let the snake through, sent it with
force true,
and now shes haunting in a smelly girls loo (EW!)
Walked into my old house, Wormtail had me zipped up
Called in old Frank Bryce and left him laying belly up
Once had a basilisk tearing through em, running over
Muggles and hens,
killing them while they screaming at it: "LET'S JUST
BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
Just found out my mom died in childbirth too.
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous killer
Make a living with knocking off folks and blame it all
after her
You know that youre in power when the DEs come in
droves
Standing in the graveyard kissing at your robes
This Death eater of mine showed me his mark and held
his arm out
Thank you my dear Lucius, but cmon, you know you sold
out!

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name isLord Voldy
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name isLord Voldy!

(The Duel starts)

HARRY:
Stop the match! This man needs to be locked away!
Blast it all, I wish I could DISSAPPARATE!
I'm not ready to duel, it's too scary to die, 
I'll have to play along if I want to stay alive

(The wands start to do the Priori Incantataem)

Are spells coming or going? I can barely decide 
And out comes Old Frank Bryce, begging me to fight
All my life I was very deprived
I aint seen my mother in years, and fathers been
dead besides
Spells running backwards out, falling from wand stalk,

Theyre giving me strength, as around us two they walk

When I was little I used to get so hungry I would
throw fits
How come you dont treat me right Durleys,
This cant be legit!
 
JAMESS GHOST:
Better take off son, or youll end up having deathday
parties

CEDRICS GHOST:
And while youre running out, can you please take my
body?

HARRY (as hes running and grabs Cedrics body):

I'm safe at last! And by the way should you see my
dad?
Tell him that hes my Patronus, a silver stag

(Harry Accioes the Cup and is yanked out)

*~*~*

--Neth


=====
--Nethilia de Lobo--
65% obsessed with Harry Potter
**Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus.**

http://www.geocities.com/spenecial
Spenecial.com. Two girls. One Website. Total Chaos.

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