Heat and sexual politics

[Tabouli]

Keeping cool stories... it's good to hear I'm not alone in putting clothing and bedding in the freezer: my family thought I was certifiable when I did that.

In the summer of 96/97 Melbourne produced this horrendous attack of 10 days in a row over 35 degrees Celsius (95 degrees Fahrenheit: Australia, being a land of the 21st century, actually uses the Celsius system! :-) ), of which 5 were over 40 (104 degrees F).  This, I decided, was ridiculous.  Being in the repulsive throes of my postgrad degree at the time and having self-determined hours, I resigned temporarily and stayed at home, where I lay in bed beside a bucket of ice-cubes for bodily application and read the Lonely Planet guides for Antarctica, Greenland and Iceland...

Jim (from main list):
> The discouraging part is that Draco probably *will* get all the babes.

Ah yes, but what *sort* of babes will he get?  Silly groupies who go for rich bad boys?  And how many babes can one man really cope with anyway?  Tsk.  I often wonder about this seemingly prevalent male fantasy of the doting harem of 20 groupies.  Is it really the ego/sexual bonanza that it seems in fantasy?  Doesn't it get complicated and, ultimately, a bit unfulfilling?  Or am I just being naive?  It probably depends on what you want out of sexual relationships.  If it's just sex, it might work OK, provided the girl groupies are jealousy-free (unlikely) and/or strictly short term only.  I suppose I'll have to chat to a cute male pop star or some such to find out... (any teen idols on the list?)

(ascends pulpit) After years of anguish, I've adopted a quality not quantity approach to the ol' attraction issue.  If I could but tell my teenage self (convinced she was grossly obese, when I was in fact sylph-like) and convince other tortured teenage girls that you Don't Have To Attract Everyone!  If you pitch yourself at the lowest common denominator, that's what you may well get!  If you make your body your main selling point, you'll get men whose main priority is finding a showpiece, and put yourself at risk of being recycled as you approach your use-by date (and the emphasis is on use)!  If you put on an act to attract someone, you end up constantly insecure that you'll be rejected if he sees through it!  Do you want the sort of man who'd reject you if you hadn't had a boob job??  Putting off men with those values might actually be a good thing!

Of course (descends pulpit), listening to a sermon from me about relationships is like listening to a sermon about virtue from the Marquis de Sade, but never mind.  The main catch is that you have to believe that if you don't tailor yourself as close as possible to the conventional ideal some people will still find you attractive.  Quite challenging, especially when we are constantly being told otherwise.

Amber (from main list):
> Psychologist, I am not. I know there's the possibility for Draco to reject his upbringing.

Speaking as someone who is rejecting her upbringing (my mother would certainly argue that you have to play the game to Catch A Man, for example), I have noticed a worrying tendency for people to gravitate back towards their parents' values as they grow older, especially if they have children...

Tabouli


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