radical remedy

[john at walton.to]

Amanda Lewanski said:

> meboriqua at aol.com wrote:
> 
>> I was also mortified when I made a hideous grammatical
>> error, but Anal P. Lardbottom was all over it in a second
> 
> Okay. Enough's enough. This is the umpteenth time you've mentioned this
> traumatic grammatical faux pas. What the hell *was* it? Inquiring minds
> want to know....
> 
> --Amanda, who never, ever makes mistakes, oh, my, no, except to let you
> all have the pleasure of thinking you got me.....

::coughs:: Excessive use of commas, Mrs Lewanski. Forwarded Memo below...

EXTERNAL MEMORANDUM FROM THE FAULTY USE OF THE POSSESSIVE SERVICE (F-UPS)
Sender: Anal P. Lardbottom, F-UPS Chairman
Recipient: jenny from ravenclaw, whose been getting lots of real sun in 
Central Park this summer
CC: Imelda B. Flat-Chulentte, F-UPS Deputy Operations Office: Director Of 
Ordnances (F-UPS DOODOO); Mabel T. Figworthy, Blonde If Garrulous, F-UPS (BIG 
F-UPS)

Dear Ms from ravenclaw,

It has recently been brought to our attention by a diligent member of the 
esteemed online literary discussion group "HPforGrownups" that you have 
improperly substituted a possessive word for a contracted word. This 
obstreporousness will not be endured by the F-UPS. Nay, good lady, your 
turpitude will resound through the lanes of the Information SuperHighway! 
Your momentary lapse of grammatical adeptness will provide extreme inherent 
amusement to one (1) New Yorker With A British Accent whom you informed that 
one of your betes noirs was people using possessives instead of contractions 
(and vice versa).

"--jenny from ravenclaw, whose been getting lots of real sun in Central 
Park this summer********************************************"

Have A Nice Day.

APL

Anal P. Lardbottom, Ph.D
Faulty Use of the Possessive Service (F-UPS)
14 Flobberworm Street
London W1M 0DD