Origins, small talk, cards and names

[Tabouli]

Milz:

> The article stated that in some parts of England it is considered rude to ask a person from which 
part of England he comes. Is there a reason why it is rude (ie. is it considered to be too personal a thing to ask a person?) In the US, it's not uncommon to ask someone "what part of the country are you from?" as it serves as a conversation starter.<

Never hear of this (files away for future reference).  I do know that in Australia some people of obviously non-British origin resent being asked "where they're from" all the time, as it rather rubs in the sense of alienation, the ol' "if you ain't white, you're not Australian" assumption.  I've had this all my life, as my Eurasian background has turned me out with this indeterminate ethnicity sort of look.  I sometimes entertain myself by asking people to guess my cultural background when they want to know "where I'm from", and at one point had an impressive list of about 60 countries, including Malta, Mauritius, Mexico, Native America, Russia, Kashmiri India, and so on.  Hey, it keeps me feeling exotic.

Australians also have a habit of asking someone who is obviously an overseas visitor "whereabouts in (eg) Japan" they are from.  In many cases this question is totally phatic, and the Australian hasn't the faintest idea about the geography of the country in question (they might get the reply "Okinawa" from the Japanese person, who then receives a nodding, earnest "Oh, right... so is that somewhere near Tokyo?").

I sometimes feel a kernel of rebellion against small talk.  I dabble in a wide range of social circles, and in some of them (usually the young professional type, though I name no names and professions...) the talk is positively minuscule. Four hours of repetitions of "And so how do *you* know X?  Oh really?  *I* went to high school with X, yes, we've known each other for years.  And so what do you do for a living?  Oh right, and so how do you find that?  And so what are you up to this weekend?" at a party is enough to make anyone (or at least, anyone like me) start formulating their own private list of evil questions to short-circuit small talk and force people onto something more meaningful...

On the subject of the online chat, does anyone know how to change your online nickname/alias??  No-one will recognise me unless I figure this out...

Rita:
> Secret: I normally don't send out holiday cards. I normally send out not-holiday cards.

I've decided that Chinese New Year cards are a great compromise.  For a start, it neatly avoids religious affiliations, for another thing, Chinese New Year is conveniently timed to fall early in the year when you already *know* who's sent you cards in December, and thirdly, you get extra points for originality!

Pam:
> This sounds pretty much like the American way, too.  I used to not
> have a problem with being addressed by my first name, but as I have
> grown older, I have begun to insist on a more formal mode of address
> from strangers.  I also insist that my children call adults by
> title+surname (which can be difficult because nobody around here seems
> to have a consistent family name) and expect their friends to address me
> as Mrs. Hugonnet.

(How do you pronounce Hugonnet: the French way, or an Anglicised version, e.g. HEW-go-nay/net?)

I was trained always to address adults, notably teachers and my schoolfriends' parents by title+first name, with one curious cultural twist: at my mother's Chinese church (yes, I have a religious as well as a cultural divide in the family: my mother is a fundamentalist Christian and my father is a dyed in the wool cynical atheist) I addressed adults in my mother's generation as "Uncle" and "Auntie", even though I'd use Mr and Mrs for the parents of Chinese school friends.

Then I hit my late teens, and quite a few of my Anglo/Celt Australian friends' parents started pushing for me to use their given names, as I was now considered an "adult", and I found this almost impossible to do for several years, especially with parents I'd known when I was still on title+surname terms.  In the Chinese community such liberties would be almost unthinkable!

Ah well.  Such is the plight of the bicultural child...

Tabouli.


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