Did Anybody else get this?

[Wanda Mallett]

Did anybody else get this today? Has anybody else ever
heard of this person? Just wanted to know, or if it
was just me! Weird mail today!

Wanda


Britney Spears Meets Harry Potter (7/9/2000) 

Harry Potter: Uh, hullo. 
Britney Spears: Ohmigod. Are you British? I love
British 
accents! You know, I email Prince William sometimes. 
Harry Potter: That muggle? I mean, that's great. 
Britney Spears: I love your outfit! You look like a
wizard 
or something. (squeezes Harry Potter's cheek) 
Harry Potter: Back, foul succubus! 
Britney Spears: What? 
Harry Potter: Oh sorry. 
Britney Spears: Whatever. Oh, that's a great fake 
lightning bolt you've got tatooed on your forehead. 
Harry Potter: It's not fake! Absolutely no part of me
is 
fake. 
Britney Spears: Yeah, me neither. (winks) 
Harry Potter: Well, are you a muggle or not? 
Britney Spears: A muggle? 
Harry Potter: You know, can you do any magic? 
Britney Spears: Hmm. Well, I did manage to transform 
my mediocre singing talent into a chart-topping
pop-music 
sensation! Look, now I'm just a girl...now, I'm a
whole 
industry! 
Harry Potter: Wow, All I can do is transform lead into

gold, or Hermione Granger into a frog. 
Britney Spears: (giggles) They pay you for that? 
Harry Potter: Well, no. But I also have the ability to

magically transmute an identical storyline into the
best-
selling book in the country every single year. 
Abracadabra! 
Britney Spears: It sells better than Britney Spears'
Heart 
to Heart? 
Harry Potter: (incredulous) yeah! 
Britney Spears: Hmmm. Can you sing? 
Harry Potter: No. 
Britney Spears: Great, then lets cut an album together

sometime. 
Harry Potter: OK. 
Britney Spears: So, what else do you do? 
Harry Potter: Oh, I play Quidditch, this game where
you 
fly around on a stick and try to catch the Snitch. I'm
the 
"seeker". 
Britney Spears: Sounds tiring. Oops! 
Harry Potter: What is it, Britney? 
Britney Spears: I did it again. 
Harry Potter: What? 
Britney Spears: I played with this poor guys' heart. 
Harry Potter: Hey, it happens. Especially with a
muggle 
as pretty as you. 
Britney Spears: No, seriously. This guy was kind of
old, 
and he had a pacemaker. I kept shooting microwave 
radiation towards him. He seemed to be having a real
hard 
time breathing. I need to stop doing that kind of
thing. 
Harry Potter: What did this guy look like? 
Britney Spears: He was kind of tall, kind of skinny,
wore 
all these robes, kind of like yours, but older. He had
a 
wizened old beard... 
Harry Potter: You killed Dumbledore! 
Britney Spears: I guess I should have stopped, but I
got 
lost in the game. Ooh, baby, baby.. 
Harry Potter: (Starts beating Britney with magic wand)
I 
can't believe you killed Dumbledorf, I mean
Dumbledore! 
Britney Spears: Stop hitting me! 
Harry Potter: OK, sorry. 
Britney Spears: Hit me baby one more time! 
Harry Potter: (hits Britney again) 
Britney Spears: Ow! 
Harry Potter: Sorry. 
Britney Spears: It's OK, I asked for it. I should
never 
have performed so many annoying, repetitive songs. 
Harry Potter: Well, I hope you're sorry. 
Britney Spears: Believe me, there isn't a day that
goes by 
that I don't wish I had been accepted to Hogwarts, and

that I lived in Griffindor. 
Harry Potter: No, I hope you're sorry you killed 
Dumbledore! 
Britney Spears: Oh, the old wizard I killed? 
Harry Potter: Yes. With him dead, the evil Lord 
Voldemort will take over the world. 
Britney Spears: Voldemort? Who cares! 
Harry Potter: What? 
Britney Spears: Harry, you have a lot to learn about
girls. 
(giggles). I'm not that innocent... I am Lord
Voldemort! 
Harry Potter: Really? 
Britney Spears: No, actually, Voldemort's just one of
my 
drummers. He's really not such a bad guy. Nothing like

those jerks from LFO. If they took over the world, it 
would be a real problem. 
Harry Potter: What do you think of Christina Aguilera?

Britney Spears: (growls) Oh, I think she's so sweet! I

want to kill her, uh, I mean, she's so nice! 
Harry Potter: Well, I've got to get back to Hogwarts
to 
battle the unholy terror you've unleashed on the
world. 
Britney Spears: Yeah, I've got to get back to the
studio to 
unleash my next album, Oops...I Unleashed an Unholy 
Terror on the Universe Again, on the world. 
Harry Potter: I guess this is goodbye. 
Britney Spears: Yeah, nice meeting you. 
Harry Potter: Allright, everyone reading this make
sure 
you buy my books! 
Britney Spears: Yeah, and all of you out there, buy my

albums, calendars, posters, and my very special
Britney 
Spears' Heart to Heart. 
Harry Potter: Anything else you'd like to add? 
Britney Spears: Oh yeah. All you girls out there,
start 
dressing like a 22-year old coed when you're twelve. 
Harry Potter: (flies away on broomstick) 



Joe Guy

I run a mail list of funny stuff I find on the net -
up to one mail a day - free - no obligation - private
- quit anytime etc... Just write me to join!

All are invited to read my Americanized Harry Potter
Movie Script at
http://members.home.com/tjlsmith/ahpsp.htm (New
Sorting Hat song - 'Things go better with Coca Cola,
things go better with Coke !!' )

Rumour: In Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,
the Phoenix orders a cheeseburger and fries !




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