- Calling Names

[blpurdom at yahoo.com]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Carole Estes" <lrcjestes at e...> wrote:
> 
> Well, when referring to my mother-in-law I use her first name.  I 
rarely have the reason to call her by name directly, and it is a bit 
uncomfortable to call her by her first name directly but I've 
probably done it...Mrs. Estes is just too stilted.

There are so many potential pits of quicksand when addressing in-
laws.  When I was still in college and had only recently started to 
date my future husband, I moved into an apartment in a building only 
half a block away from where he and his parents lived.  They insisted 
I do my laundry at their house instead of schlepping to the 
laundromat, and also insisted that I should have dinner there on 
nights I wasn't waiting tables.  I also had a standing invitation to 
watch Hill Street Blues with them every Thursday night (I did not own 
a television).  With all this hospitality, it would have been 
ridiculous to call them anything other than Tom and Sara.  When 
you're nineteen and living on your own for the first time, having 
folks like this for neighbors, friends and one's boyfriend's parents 
is amazing and wonderful.  

My husband had a more awkward time of it.  While we were dating and 
during the beginning of our marriage, he called my parents Mr. and 
Mrs. Lamond.  Then he started kind of mumbling their first names.  
Within the last couple of years he finally started using Elaine and 
Elmer, but it was a long hard road for him, and I'm still not 
entirely sure he feels comfortable calling my mother by her first 
name.

How funny that you used the abbreviation 'MIL' in your post, Carole.  
Do you actually use this in your family?  (Pronounced 'mill.')  Or 
was it just for email purposes?  My father-in-law actually calls 
me 'the dill' (DIL, or daughter-in-law) as an affectionate nickname.  
He's a silly guy.  I'm very lucky to have him and my MIL in my life.

Incidentally, Ebony, my MIL is also a Kindred Spirit (offline).  It 
was because of her I read the Anne books as an adult, and I have the 
whole series of books available for my daughter when she's ready for 
them.

--Barb