Clueless in Middle Earth (WAS LOTR movie)

[virtualworldofhp]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "cindysphynx" <cindysphynx at h...> wrote:
> I went to see the film last night.  I was totally blown away, as I 
> thought it was magnificent!  

Cindy, Cindy...I now join your ranks under the clueless
seen-movie-but-not-read-the-books order.  It was an absolutely LONG
movie, but it did not drag at all!  Either Tolkein is a genuis
storyteller or Jackson an awesome director...or a nice happy mixture
of both, but I am now and forever drawn into the story and dying to
know what happens to our dear Frodo!
 
> 1.  I let my 7 year old child come along.  Big mistake.  Wrong, 
> wrong, wrong.  Note to self:  young children who go to scary PG-13 
> movies keep their eyes closed the whole time, fall asleep in the 
> theatre, and then sneak into their parents' bed at night.

Even /I/ kept hiding my eyes during some of the orcs scenes.  I said
to my mum afterwards, "I understand that they're big and gross and all
that, but do they really have to do THAT many close-ups?!"
 
> 2.  I have to admit that I had no idea who most of the characters 
> were.  I got Gandolf (and I think Ian McClellan is amazing).  I got 
> Frodo (who I really thought was a 14 year old short person or 
> something until I saw the actor on Leno last night).  I got Sam and 
> the other Hobbits.  I did not get the women *at all.*  I didn't 
> understand the Pretty Boy with the Arrows, or the guy who died.  Who 
> was that Strider fellow?  Is he the same person as Aragorn?  I have 
> resolved to read the book immediately.

I understood most everything except some parts about Gollum and
miscellany about the Ring in general, but I think my mom filled me in.
 Well, and some of the magical creatures' placement in things did have
me a bit confused.  Pretty Boy With Arrows--Legolas...oi, I sure hope
he's in future episodes because he's a cutie! ;-)  I totally went for
him, lol.

> 3.  Uh, how come some of these people were not cast in HP?  Ian 
> McClellan is just way better than Richard Harris.

I kept thinking that throughout the whole movie.  He would be *so*
perfect.

> 4.  OK, those orcs were just way, way too much and over the top.  
> Dang!  I liked the spooky guys on horseback, though, and that 
> music/sound they played whenever they came around was really freaking 
> me out.  I must go read the book.

They totally creeped me out, too.  I think the soundtrack was
spectacular!  

> 5.  Uh, Frodo puts the ring on and the world dissolves or something.  
> I was totally baffled by this.  His sword was magical or something?  
> Why is the Kevlar suit so important, other than just conveniently 
> saving Frodo from the troll?  I must go read the book.

I was a bit lost in this, too.  I couldn't understand while, for the
most part, he seemed to disappear, except during one part where the
dark-dudes COULD see him.  I hypothesize because they also have rings
(originally Man, right?) they can see him.  So, what's the point in
putting on the ring?  I guess the more you "use" it, the more
influence it begins to hold on you.  I dunno...  

> 6.  The troll scene was way too long.  However, this troll was way 
> better than the HP troll, and the visual effects in LotR were 
> substantially better overall.

I agree.  And some of the orc/death scenes were also too long.  I
mean, I get the point already!  The visual effects were AMAZING and
surpass HP anyday.  Now I know why LOTR garnered nominations and HP
did not.  LOTR was a hands-down ten times better movie.

> 8.  The opening LotR scenes were outstanding.  As I said, I knew 
> nothing.  The filmmakers gave me a quickie overview and moved right 
> into the main story.

Especially wonderful for us who haven't read.  Especailly me, because
I tend to get lost in movies SOOOOO easily.  My mom says they don't do
this in the book.  I'm glad I have the background going into it,
because I'd spend the whole time trying to figure it out (as opposed
to just ENJOYING the thing).

> Cindy (who thinks way too many creatures were beheaded in LotR and 
> those goblin things couldn't shoot well enough to hit the side of a 
> barn, but is willing to overlook it)

I thought these were rather funny.  Is Legalos some star-archer of the
elves, or are elves naturally awesome at this.  Did you notice the
goblins/orcs/or ANYone didn't hit a SINGLE person?  How odd.  They
must really stink for such "great warriors".

Dang, now I'm faced with decision of trying (again) to plow through
the LOTR books just so I can know what happens or waiting two years
for the movies.  Darn, darn, darn!

-Megan (who has adamantly refused to read them for so long that it's
now a matter of principle.  Stubborn, I am.)