"Tom Swifties"

[Jim Flanagan]

Does anybody remember "Tom Swifties?"  These little one-liners were 
popular, along with elephant jokes and Spoonerisms, back when I was 
in junior high school. It shouldn't be necessary to explain how they 
work -- just take a look at these examples from Harry Potter's 
universe:

"I'm over here, Hermione, under the invisibility cloak," whispered 
Harry, transparently.

"Meow!" said Cruikshanks, catagorically.

"Do you like my new dress robes?" asked Fleur, figuratively.

"You must put the lacewings in *before* the axolotl, Longbottom!" 
Snape said explosively.

"Avada, uh... how does that go again?" said Goyle, cursorily.

"I've lost my finger!" cried Pettigrew, pointlessly. (with apologies 
to Elizabeth Shaffer)

"Allow me to introduce myself; I am Madam Maxime," she said, broadly.

"Want to play a game of chess?" asked Ron, ponderously 
("pawnderously").

"Welcome to the Knight Bus," said Stan, conductively.

"Oh, no!  I've forgotten my colour-coded revisions!" said Hermione, 
listlessly.

"That @#$%! poltergeist!" Filch swore, peevishly.

"Mine was sixteen inches, solid oak," stated Hagrid, erectly.

"Someone's stolen all the games from the Common Room," cried Fred and 
George, Cluelessly.

"You must breathe in the medicated vapours as deeply as possible," 
said Madam Pomfrey, inspirationally.

"Please concentrate all your attention on this pocket watch..." 
Professor Trelawney intoned, hypnotically.

"Welcome to my humble stall," said Myrtle, commodiously.


Can you think of others?

-Jim Flanagan