OT: Cat haikus

[Sister Mary Lunatic]

These were posted to another list.  
Cat lovers (and cat haters) will get a chuckle:

Cat Haikus

You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit, hairball somewhere
Will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore me
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me it I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle,
I fought for hours.  Come and See!
What's a 'term paper'?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

I want to be close to you.
Can I fit my head
Inside your armpit?

Want to go outside.
Uh oh! Help! I am outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! My human
Has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies in bed and then screams
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If we only had thumbs!
We could break so much!"

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I'll go in the sink.

My humans are snoring now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for "Cup Hockey".

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Scratch me there again, again.