Colin Firth - McGonagall the poet - DADA exam

[Amy Z]

I saw Bridget Jones' Diary this weekend.  It was one of those films 
I'd never have seen unless I was with someone who wanted to go, but it 
was very funny.  And more importantly, it was the first time I've ever 
seen Colin Firth!  So naturally I sat there trying to see Sirius in 
this man.  If I squint, turn my head sideways, take off the sideburns 
and tack on lots of matted hair, and make him pale and 
unhealthy-looking, I can see it.  Sirius is one of those characters 
for whom I have a pretty clear mental image, but it isn't an image 
that matches any actor I can think of.  However, CF has my blessing.  
(BTW, has Steven Kloves finished writing CS, does anyone know, or can 
we expect a delay if the writers continue to strike?)

On the main list, Catlady mentioned that someone once referred to 
McGonagall as a well-known awful poet.  I quote at length from the 
entry "The Worst British Poet" in _The Book of Failures_, a book one 
should never read while trying to drink anything.  The author is 
Stephen Pile (he claims it is The Official Handbook of the 
Not-Terribly-Good Club of Great Britain) and it was published by 
Dutton in 1979.

"With William Topaz McGonagall, we approach one of the giants of our 
field.  He was so giftedly bad that he backed unwittingly into genius. 
 Combining a minimal feel for the English language with a total lack 
of self-awareness and nil powers of observation, he became a poet.

"Sitting in his back room in Paton's Lane, Dundee, wishing he was on 
holiday, was seized with a desire to write poetry (sic).  He paced the 
room, saying, 'But I know nothing about poetry.'  Thus qualified he 
sat down and penned his first great work."

His "first great work" was "An Address to the Rev. George Gilfillan," 
of which I will only quote a few choice lines:

"He has written the life of Sir Walter Scott,
And while he lives he will never be forgot,
Nor when he is dead,
Because by his admirers it will be often read . . . ."

My favorite story about McGonagall, however, deals with his mercifully 
short acting career, in which his colleagues at the Seafield Handloom 
Works in Dundee turned out to see him play Macbeth.  This account is 
also from _The Book of Failures_:

"The high spot came in the final scene, when Macduff is supposed to 
kill Macbeth in a sword fight.  Unwisely, the actor playing Macduff 
told McGonagall to 'cut it short.'

"Suspecting that the actor was jealous of the acclaim he was 
receiving, McGonagall refused to die.  A new ending to 'Macbeth' 
seemed imminent.

"'I continued the combat until he was fairly exhausted, and there was 
one old gentleman in the audience cried out: "Well done, McGonagall!  
Walk into him!"  And so I did until he (Macduff) was in great rage, 
and stamped his foot, and cried out "Fool!  why don't you fall?"  And 
when I did fall, the cry was "McGonagall!  McGonagall!  Bring him out! 
 Bring him out!"  Until I had to come out and receive an ovation from 
the audience."'"

Mecki, your exam is definitely

> a) quite fun, actually :-)

and also

d) very hard!

Are you by any chance interested in a career in this area?  I believe 
there's a vacancy.

Amy Z