Baby-Check

[Dinah]

Huh! Reminds me of the "kiddies cause trouble" bit Ebony sent... If you do
this beforehand, you migh reconsider <g>.

 ~ Dinah ~

ARE READY TO HAVE KIDS:
>
> MESS TEST - Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish
stick
> behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
>
> TOY TEST - Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing
> tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold.
> Try to      walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this
> would wake a child at night.
>
> GROCERY STORE TEST - Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and
> take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for
> anything they eat or damage.
>
> DRESSING TEST - Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a
small
> net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.
>
> FEEDING TEST - Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water.
> Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to
insert
> spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to
be
> an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
>
> NIGHT TEST - Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12
> pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00p.m. begin to waltz
and
> hum     with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm
for
> 10:00p.m.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever
heard.
> Make     up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm
> for 5:00a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look
> cheerful.
>
> INGENUITY TEST - Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of
> paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it
> into an         attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a
> piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty
box
> of Cocoa Puffs. Make an     exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
>
> AUTOMOBILE TEST - Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate
> ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get
> a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of
> chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake
> along both     sides of the car. There, perfect.
>
> PHYSICAL TEST (Women) - Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the
> front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the
> beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won't be
> wearing them for a while.
>
> PHYSICAL TEST (Men) - Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the
> counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food
> store.     Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be
> directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it
> quietly for the last         time.
>
> FINAL ASSIGNMENT - Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture
> them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
> training and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.
> Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild.
> Enjoy     this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the
> answers.
>
> ~*~Rebecca~*~
>       ::::dear dorothy....hate Oz....took the shoes....find your own
>               way home!!!!!   xxxooo   Toto::::
>
>                 ~*~*~* www.mysticwitches.com *~*~*~
>
> `So long as lips shall kiss, and eyes shall see,
> So long lives This, and This gives life to Thee.'
>
>
>
> ....land of wishes, hopes and dreams....right at never, never land!!!
>
> http://www.mysticwitches.com   Take a look! *grin*
>
>
>
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>
>
>



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