Titles

[Amy Z]

Amber wrote:

>I have wondered though that if I get married, what am I going
> to do about my last name. I love my last name, I would not want to 
have
> to stop using it. So either I would have have to keep my same last 
name
> or hyphenate my last name. The first option might potentially anger 
my
> fiance (in which case, we wouldn't last long) and confuse people who
> are used to women changing their last name. So hyphenation seems to 
be
> the best option.

Where I live, there are enough different solutions around that 
confusion is guaranteed but assumptions are rapidly being dropped.  I 
know when I meet a child that his parents might not have his last 
name or each other's; when I meet a man I know that his partner might 
not have his name.  
 
> Which leads me to another thought. Why men can't start to change 
their
> last names as well? They could take on the hyphenated name, the 
same as
> women. So John and Sue would both be known as Doe-Smith. Or Smith-
Doe
> (whatever the preference, dependant on each situation). The only
> potential problem I can see with this is really, really long last
> names. 

Some men do this.  One thing I really like about it is that like the 
traditional scheme, it gives both people the same last name.  It's a 
real problem when you have kids though.  There's no solution that 
doesn't cause some other complication--when you sit down and do the 
math, what you're doing over the course of a few generations is 
turning 16 surnames (one for each great-great-grandparent) into one 
(for the kid at the bottom of the tree).  Some are going to have to 
be omitted, changed, turned into middle names, or hyphenated.

When we got married we talked about a few different options and 
finally just decided to keep the ones we have.  The other option that 
seemed most attractive to me was to make up, or choose from history 
or our families' past, a name that meant a lot to both of us.  If we 
have kids, we'll have to sort it all out again.  My parents have two 
daughters, no sons, and my sister has already said that her kids will 
have her husband's name, so it might be nice for me to pass on the 
family name.  My husband's brothers have already had children and 
given them their (and his) last name.

Amy Z