using 'Miss'

[lrcjestes at earthlink.net]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., Pam Hugonnet <pbarhug at e...> wrote:
> 
>     But as an African American woman, I have an interesting 
observation
> about titles that has been confirmed by other women of color, but my
> white friends look at me blankly when I speak about it.  I wear 
wedding
> rings.  They are not ostentatious, but readily visible.  While I 
flatter
> myself that I have a somewhat youthful appearence, nobody is gonna
> mistake me for a teenager or a twenty-something.  However, people 
insist
> on calling me "Miss."  It even seems to happen more frequently when 
I am
> with my children.  I have learned to draw myself up and say, "I am 
MRS.
> Hugonnet."  Often the perpetrator looks flustered and corrects
> him/herself, but sometimes it's glossed over or the person acts as
> though they have been offended.  But it is a subtle form of 
disrepect
> that I find offensive and puzzling.
> 

I've been meaning to add this in to the mix of titles...When I was 
growing up in PA, I called all my friends parents (and other adults 
outside of family) Mr or Mrs. Lastname.  However, once I had kids 
(old enough to talk) I lived in Florida.  There it seemed to be  
customary for kids to call grownups Mr. Firstname and Miss Firstname 
whether the Miss was married or not.  For example, our very good 
friends' children would call my husband and me, Mr. Randy and Miss 
Carole (respectively.)  My kids called all their preschool teachers 
Miss _____ (it was Miss Angie at the time) and they called our 
friends Mr. Greg and Miss Lisa (even though they were Mr. and Mrs.)  
They don't do that here in Massachusetts.  Things are much more 
formal here. Down there it seemed to be a way to add respect to the 
casual prectice of using first names rather than last names.

So in this instance calling an older woman Miss Pamela would be the 
childs way of adding respect to an address rather than 
disrespecting.  An adult should use the proper title however...

carole