OT/joke for pagans

[Schlobin at aol.com]

Subject: Pagan Phunnies

Dear Mr. and Mrs. O'Flaherty,

I write this letter in concern of your daughter, Aradia Moon. Please
don't take this the wrong way. However, although she is a straight "A"
student and a very bright child, she has some strange habits that I
feel we should address.

Every morning before class, she insists on walking around the room with
her pencil in the air. She says she is "drawing down the moon." I told
her art class is in an hour and to please refrain until then to do any
drawing. 

And speaking of art class, whenever she draws a night sky, she
insists on drawing little circles around all the stars and people
dancing on the ground. 

And that brings up dancing. I had to stop her twice from taking off 
her clothes during a game of Ring Around the Rosey! By the way,
what does "skyclad" mean?

Aradia has no problem with making friends. I always find her sitting
outside during recess with her friends sitting around her in a circle.
She likes to share her juice and cookies. It is nice how she wants no
one to ever  thirst or hunger. However, when I walked over to see what
they were doing, she jumped up and told me to stop, pulled out a little
plastic knife and started waiving it in front of me. I thought this a
bit dangerous, so I took her to the Principal's Office. She explained
to the Principal that she was "opening the circle" to let me in. She
also said that her Mommy and Daddy always told her not to play or run
with an "athame" in her hand, that she could put someone's eye out.  I
don't know what an "athame" is, but I'm glad she keeps it at home.

As for stories, your daughter tends to make up some whoppers. Just
yesterday while I was talking sternly to Tommy Johnson and shaking my
finger at him,  he started screaming and ran from the room. When I
finally caught him, he told me Aradia told him and the rest of the
class that the last time I shook my finger at someone, they caught the
chicken pox. I explained to him that the Sally Jones incident was just a 
coincidence, and that things like that don't really happen.

One of the strangest things that happened was when I asked the
children to bring in Halloween decorations for the classroom. Aradia
brought in salt, incense, and her family album. I see she has quite a
sense of humour.

One of Aradia's worst habits is that she is very argumentative. We
were discussing what the Golden Rule was ("Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you), she firmly disagreed with me and stated that it
was "Do as you will, but harm none" and she will not stop saying "So
Mote It Be" after she reads aloud in class. I tried to correct her on
these matters and she got very angry. She pointed her finger at me and
mumbled something under her breath.

In closing, Mr. and Mrs. O'Flaherty, I would like to set up a
parent/teacher conference with you sometime next week to discuss these
matters. I would see you sooner, but I have developed an irritating rash
that I am quite worried about.

With deep concerns,
Mrs. Livingston
First Grade, PS 132

P.S. Blessed Be. I understand this is a greeting or closing from your
country that your daughter informs me is polite and correct.