Dating/Marriage

[Rosmerta]

Well, I swore wasn't going to get into this marriage thread (I'm the 
firmest ever believer in later is better) but Rachel's very lovely 
and heartbreaking story <all snipped; see below> makes me want to 
write and say, don't give up! You're still so so so so so young! I 
think it's important to be utterly devastated by love, and (however 
inadvertently) to utterly devastate someone else, before you find 
your true partner. You're just so much more respectful of personhood 
in general after you've gone through a real heartbreak and/or visited 
it on someone else. The formerly-walking-wounded do not waste their 
time fighting over the placement of dirty towels or the arrangement 
of sofas. 

~Rosmerta
whose beloved baby brother was left after nine months by his bride, 
who also took everything, just in case Rachel feels like chucking it 
all and moving to the Northeast to hook up with a fisherman-type 
person with a big heart.  

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Rachel Bray" <bray.262 at o...> wrote:
> I dated my husband through High School (my parents broke their 
> own rule of "no dating until you're 16" because they adored him) 
> and then lived with him when I was 22 and married him when I was 
> 25.  I worshipped the man.  I adored him with every inch of my 
> being.  My family accepted him with arms wide open.
> 
> Then in September of 97 we went home to visit our parents (we 
> lived less than 1 mile away from each other growing up) and I took 
> a nap.  When I woke up about an hour later, I asked where Mike 
> was and was told that he went to a friend's house and that he said 
> he'd be back in an hour or so.  I walked to my parents' house and 
> spent the evening with them....no Mike.  THE NEXT MORNING, he 
> called and said he was in Columbus and that he had to take care 
> of some business with his band and he'd be back in Wheelersburg 
> in a couple hours.  He showed up at my parents' house, took me in 
> the back room and said "I've filed for divorce." and walked out.
> 
> By the time I stopped screaming and passing out and in the right 
> mind to think again, my mom drove me back up to our apartment 
> and it was stripped clean of everything except our twin bed we kept 
> in the guest room, my clothes, my personal collection of CD's (he 
> took the ones we both listened to), and the dining room table.  
> Everything was gone.  He had gone up the day before and put it all 
> in storage somewhere.  I was divorced three months later.  His 
> claim, irreconcilable differences.  We had not been fighting, we 
had 
> been getting along just fine, as always....he was just bored, I 
> guess.  And with his boredom, he took everything we had 
> (MASSIVE movie collection and huge home entertainment center, 
> living room furniture (which included the new couch that was my 
> Christmas gift from him that past year), washer and dryer, bed, 
> dressers, desks, the PowerMac, tons of books.  He stunned the 
> families and destroyed his relationship with many, many people 
> who called him "friend" at one time. 
> 
> He was 27 when we married.  And obviously he wasn't "old" 
> enough.  I was 25 and knew when I was 18 that I wanted to spend 
> my life with him.  
> 
> So, basically, what I'm saying is, age has nothing to do with it.  
My 
> parents married when my mom was 18 and my dad was 21.  And 
> they just celebrated their 32 anniversary.  My grandparents married 
> at 18 and they've been married now for 55 years.  You just never 
> know.
> 
> *whew!*  Sorry I rambled.  And sorry I put all that out there.  
> Sometimes when I talk about it, I tend to ramble because it's still 
> very very painful to talk about.  I've not dated anyone since, I've 
> destroyed a friendship with a really great guy because he wanted 
> to date and thought sickened me.....it's been awful.
> 
> 
> Rachel Bray
> The Ohio State University
> Fees, Deposits and Disbursements
> 
> Oh, the thrill of the chase as I soar through the air
> With the Snitch up ahead and the wind in my hair
> As I draw ever closer, the crowd gives a shout
> But then comes a Bludger and I am knocked out.
> 
> "I don't know who Jim Henson is but I've heard he has his hand in a 
> lot of things around here." - Kermit the Frog, 1972