Occupational Status (was: Snobbery (yikes, this is long!)

[macloudt at yahoo.co.uk]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Jennifer Piersol" <jenP_97 at y...> wrote:
> Anyway, now I'm finding myself feeling very insecure.  I'm a 
> "housewife" and a stay-at-home mom, and I constantly feel like I'm 
> going to disappoint everyone who expected me to actually 
> "accomplish" something.  Isn't it awful how something that seems 
> fairly insignificant in your childhood can affect you to the point 
> of not wanting to go to your 10yr reunion because you're not 
> "successful" in a career/monetary way?
> 
> Jen
> 

Jen, I know exactly where you're coming from.  If someone had told me 
during my early years at uni that I'd be a domestic goddess (sounds 
better than housewife, don't you think? :)) and stay-at-home mom, I'd 
have laughed myself senseless.  But I'm enjoying my time with the 
kids, and they're all still young (have 3 under the age of 5) so I  
wouldn't be able to afford childcare for them anyway.  Yet even 
during this era of supposed 3rd-wave feminism I'm not seen as 
actually *doing* anything.  "Oh, you don't work, then" is a not 
infrequent comment, to which I've learned to reply, "That's right, I 
sit on my arse in front of the idiot box and eat bonbons all day".  
It usually shuts them up.  Hey, we're lucky enough to be home with 
the kids; sadly not every parent has that option for pressing 
financial reasons.  I have part-time job in a shop (relatively brain-
dead but enjoyable), sit on the PTA and preschool committee, help run 
a Rainbows (wee tiny Girl Guides) group, and belong to a small 
choir.  No time for bonbons (OK, just a few!) and the idiot box, 
which is constantly tuned into the Teletubbies or football anyway.  
It is hard not to feel inferior sometimes, but I'm learning to brush 
moronic comments aside.  

Now I've moved from my home country, so won't be attending any 10th 
reunion (which was in 1997 anyway...AAK!!!), but I can understand 
your apprehension.  Just ask yourself this question...do you really 
want to see these people anyway?  I still have contact with a few 
good friends from high school, and they pass on the occasional 
snippet of gossip to me.  For the rest I'm not actually concerned how 
anyone is doing.  Gee, that sounds bitchy, but I think you know what 
I mean!  It's late, and I can't think of a better way to word it.  
Think of it this way...classmates who'd make snide comments about 
your current status probably produced horribly bratty offspring who 
will spend their teen years forging close relationships with their 
remand officers :)  Their opinion is not worth anything, so it's 
nothing to worry about.

Domestic goddesses unite!! :) Hmm, we need a groovy acronym... 
Tabouli, any ideas?

Cheers!

Mary Ann
(whose next Domestic Goddess chore is to load the dishwasher...*very* 
glamourous...)