Need British Menu Suggestions

[hamster8 at hotmail.com]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Penny Linsenmayer" <pennylin at s...> 
wrote:
> Hi all --
> 
> My church dinner gourmet group chose a British themed dinner for 
> November (coincidentally the weekend of the movie premier).  I need 
> some menu suggestions for appetizer, salad & side dishes.  We've 
> already got Shepherd's Pie as the main course & treacle tart as the 
> dessert (I chose that one as Harry's favorite of course!).

Sounds fine so far, Penny.  You'll need custard with the treacle 
tart, so don't even think about not doing that.  Um, however, as far 
as finding a uniquely British salad goes, I think you may have a 
problem.  Trad. British cuisine belongs more to the hearty and stodgy 
food groups - I have never encountered a traditional salad by any 
stretch of the imagination.  Can anybody else suggest something?  
There's probably a Kentish summer salad recipe floating around 
somewhere - I'm afraid most of us regard lettuce as the damp bit 
entre burger et bun.

Of course, you could always go really bland and insipid and do a 
traditional British hotel meal ...

Limp & Inspidid Prawn Cocktail - oversweetened, with prawns that are 
just about going off.

To follow, a 12 oz medium rare grilled cardboard, garnished with 
fresh garden cardboard, cardboard rings, chipped cardboard and half a 
grilled cardboard.

Something pathetic for pudding - a tiny cuplet of creme brulee, maybe.

Or, you could go really grass roots and very, very traditional; 
poppadums, onion bhajis, lamb vindaloo (or chicken korma for the weak 
of constitution), 12 pints of Carling, rounded off with a fake kebab 
made from bits the pig never knew it had ... see Yael for a more 
honest description of a British kebab.  For maximum effect you should 
already have been binge-drinking in the pub before that, consuming no 
less than 3 pints of Fosters/Grolsch, halves or lager and limes for 
the not-so-heavy-drinkers amongst you, several packets of dry roasted 
peanuts and hey presto, that's your aperitif.  After eating it is 
vital that you insult the waiter and leave the restaurant arm in arm, 
three abreast, singing something lewd about what David Beckham likes 
to do to Posh of an evening.  It is also good if the restaurant has 
flock wallpaper and piped sitar muzak.  It is not good (for the 
average binge-drinker) if the restaurant serves any brand of lager 
other than something tasteless and local - imported Indian beer is 
not good enough, it would seem, so select your venue with care.

Al