Cementing UK/US relations (was Re: Vile sandwiches)

[Neil Ward]

I proposed using peanut butter to tile walls, after Barb compared it 
to the mortar in a sandwich.  Barb, who obviously does a lot more DIY 
than I do, then said:

<< 
I don't know whether "mortar" is used in the UK to refer to both 
the material that binds masonry together AND glues tiles to a wall, 
but it could be.  In the US, the tile stuff is called mastic and the 
stuff we actually see between the tiles is grout.  I think that as 
foods go, cream cheese (does THAT exist in the UK?) would make better 
mastic than peanut butter and mayonnaise would do well as grout. >>

I would also use mortar (or cement) to lay bricks, and, in an ideal 
world, it would be tile adhesive adhering tiles to the wall and grout 
filling in the spaces between.  In my previous post I was noting the 
general cement-like properties of peanut butter and concluding that 
it would work for tiles.  I really wouldn't advise using it in the 
construction of bridges or tall buildings.  Perhaps there should be a 
warning on the jar?       

To me, mastic is something used for filling in holes, but I guess you 
could lay tiles with it.  

BTW, we do have cream cheese in the UK, but the main brand is called 
Philadelphia, so it's probably something we nicked off you.    

Barb, on UK/US word differences:

<<"Valance," for instance means a piece of fabric hung at the top of 
a window which is not long enough to obscure the entire aperture (in 
the US), whereas in the UK this is used to refer to the fabric 
hanging down between a bed's mattress and the floor (in US it's a 
dust ruffle or bed skirt).>>
  
The word valance covers both the bed skirt and the window dressing, 
as it is a frilly length of material intended to hide "structural 
detail" (I checked my dictionary – I'm no valance expert).  I like 
the description `bed skirt' – it says what it is instead of trying to 
sound sophisticated and French.  

It's a `too-much-information' day!

Neil/Flying Ford Anglia