Sexual Harassment (was Re: Oppressing the overdog)

[blpurdom at yahoo.com]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Ebony" <ebonyink at h...> wrote:
> --- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Julie (a.k.a. Viola)" 
<viola_1895 at y...>    > 
> 
> Wow, Jules... you know, I've been in the post-college work world 
for what, three years?... and I've had to face sexual harassment on 
each job I've been on.
 
Boy!  Reason #347 why I'm glad I've been a stay-at-home 
mom/freelancer since my son was a year old and a part-time student 
since my daughter was four!  When I was working as a waitress to pay 
my rent when I was in college the first time, sexual harassment came 
in several forms.  The customer who would sit at a table for hours, 
ordering nothing but coffee (free refills) and then always left me a 
ten-dollar tip.  He chatted me up whenever he could, and sometimes it 
was very hard for me to convince him I had other work to do.  When my 
boyfriend (now my husband) came to pick me up, the two of them talked 
amicably, but my guy told me the customer (a friend of a friend of 
mine) was always fishing to find out if there was any "trouble in 
paradise."  (LOL, Eb!)  

One of the cooks was especially forward, sometimes making very lewd 
suggestions of things I could "do" for him if I wanted the food I was 
ordering for my tables to ever see the light of day.  These were 
empty threats; my food always showed up when I needed it.  I usually 
laughed at his suggestions (more on the order of a guffaw, actually) 
which probably hurt his feelings, but my intention was to get the 
point across that I thought the idea of the two of us was ludicrous.

The only time I ever responded more forcefully to harassment at the 
restaurant was when I was cleaning up for the night one time, there 
were very few other people around, and the manager passed by where I 
was working and patted my rump, telling me I'd done a good job that 
evening.  This was a guy who'd had two previous girlfriends who were 
waitresses at the restaurant, and who was in fact seeing both of them 
simultaneously at one point (before they both got wind of it).  I 
knew that this guy, even though he was my boss, had to know the score 
in no uncertain terms.  I hollered at him, "What the hell do you 
think YOU'RE doing?" as loudly as I could, which stopped him in his 
tracks.  He hemmed and hawed and backed off and apologized...and 
never laid a finger on me again.

Most of the jobs I had after that were in environments which were 
almost entirely female, and the males who did work in those places 
were either gay, married, or sensitive humans with enough restraint 
to keep their hands to themselves.  For some reason, waitresses 
(especially if they are also college students) seem to have a big 
sign on them saying, "Look!  Here I am!  Harass me!"  Why I will 
never work in restaurants again.  After I get my architecture degree 
I think I'll even avoid DESIGNING restaurants...

--Barb