Thoughts and Feelings

[Amber ?]

Sadness. This is the foremost feeling. I feel sad for the people in the 
planes who didn't know what was happening, that they were going to be used 
as a weapon. I feel sad for the people who perished in the WTC towers. I 
feel sad for the people who jumped out of the WTC towers. I feel sad for the 
rescue workers, firemen, and policemen who died when the towers collapsed. I 
feel sad for the people who died in the Pentagon. I feel sad for the people 
who have lost their loved ones. I feel sad for the loss of "security" that 
most Americans felt they had before.

Anger. I feel anger at the people who would do this terrorist act. I feel 
anger at those who could hate Americans so very much. I feel anger at the 
airports who didn't catch the hijackers in time, at the intelligence that 
missed this. I feel angry that my way of life is going to be changed 
irrevocably. I'm angry that the news stations were showing pictures of 
people jumping from windows. I feel angry that so many have died. I feel 
angry that our politicians are screaming for war when I feel that isn't 
perhaps the best reaction. I feel angry that our citizens were used as a 
weapon.

Worry. I'm worried about the reactions of those around me. I worry when 
people who say that we need to bomb the hell out of other countries. I worry 
that we're heading towards a horrific war. I worry that the US economy will 
end up becoming irrevocably worse. I worry about people of the Muslim 
religion being persecuted. I worry about people from the Middle Eastern 
countries being persecuted. I worry that this isn't over and that the 
terrorists are simply waiting for us to become complacent again.

Guilt. I feel guilty that all my friends and family are safe while so many 
others have lost their loved ones. I feel guilty that I was perfectly safe 
when these atrocities were carried out. I feel guilty that I'm worrying 
about the economy when others have lost so much. I feel guilty that there's 
little I can do to help. I feel guilty that I'm not screaming for war when 
so many others are. I feel guilty that I'm glad I don't live in NYC or DC. I 
feel guilty that I'm going to work in an office building while others work 
relentlessly to retrieve bodies/survivors from the rubble. I feel guilty 
that I probably don't entirely under the horror and shock that New Yorkers, 
DC residents, and Boston residents.

Just the top four feelings that I have felt in the past day. Again, my 
sympathies and condolences to everyone affected most by the terrorist 
attacks. Words fail me on what else I can say.

~Amber

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http://www.the-tabula-rasa.com
Updated 9/03/01

"Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost,
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost..."
- Barenaked Ladies, "Falling for the First Time"


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