I will never have Desitin in my house again! (LONG)

[Jennifer Piersol]

Okay, okay.  I've had to wait 24 hours to calm down enough to write 
this down, and as it's starting to get funny, I had to tell people.  
My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law thought it was hilarious, so I 
thought I'd spread it around.

About a month ago, I was cleaning up the house during Ginger's nap 
time... it was completely silent in her room, so I assumed that she 
was sleeping.  Well, that lasted for a couple of hours, and then 
gradually, I started hearing the doorknob turning.  However, she's 
been able to open her door for almost 3-4 months now, so I was a 
little unsure of why she was unable to this time.  I asked her if she 
needed some help, she said yes, so I opened her door.  What a shock - 
there was desitin EVERYWHERE.  For those of you who don't have kids 
and don't remember the stuff from when you were little, Desitin is 
that sticky fish-oil-based white cream used to soothe diaper rash... 
and it has a very distinctive smell.  Anyway, she'd smeared it all up 
and down her arms, legs and face, and it was smeared all over her 
table and chairs, her floor, her chalkboard, 4 of her BOOKS! (this 
really got to me, because I have this "you will not deface your books 
in any way" mentality from my childhood), and of course, on her 
doorknob and door from trying to open it with the stuff all over her 
hands.  Well, eventually it got cleaned up (even though it's *still* 
smeared in the seat of my mother's old wicker rocking chair... what a 
nightmare), and I decided that since there were a lot of old books in 
her room that *my* mother used to read to me when I was little, I'd 
remove the books to a central location and fill her shelves with her 
toys instead.

Well, fast-forward to yesterday... and guess what.  *Somehow* I had 
missed a half-empty desitin tube... she said later that she'd found 
it on the floor, so I'm assuming that it was under her dresser or 
something... 

I had been napping on the couch this time (haven't been getting much 
sleep lately), when I hear her softly calling to me, "Mommy - my butt 
hurts!"  I get up and open the door, and there she is covered in 
desitin AGAIN.  Not only that, but she had taken it upon herself to 
remove her (poopy) diaper and "self medicate" as it were... smearing 
desitin all over a dirty bottom.  Not only THAT, but because her 
diaper was off, she'd made a little puddle on the floor, which she'd 
apparently stepped in, because there were little wet and greasy 
footprints all over her painted wood floor (My sister's response to 
that: Thank goodness you tore up her carpet).  If this had been the 
first time, I might have been calm enough to take it in stride and 
move on... but this time, I just lost it.  I crumpled into a heap on 
the floor and just bawled and bawled... only crying harder when my 
daughter would ask me "What's wrong with you, Mommy?"

Ugh.

Anyway, it's *kind* of funny now, and I'm hoping that the more I tell 
it, the funnier it will get, and the less angry I get the next time 
something like that happens.

Jen (who thinks her reaction was in half due to PMS, but still 
refuses to EVER buy Desitin again.)