God holds press conference

[Schlobin at aol.com]

  <A HREF="http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/god_clarifies_dont_kill.html">
God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule</A> 

      NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient 
creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more 
than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans 
killing each other Monday.

    
Above: God.  
      "Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so 
for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying 
visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin 
Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to 
kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick 
and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill 
anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that 
anybody ought to be able to understand."