I'm dead!

[mecki987]

( sorry if ths is double-sent- my computer just had a failure)


Hi!

I'm dead! I must be. Nobody could survive this. Nobody. 
Let me tell you the truth about my tragic death, let it be warning to 
you.

I was killed.  Blown apart and ripped to pieces by several innocent 
looking little monsters.

Okay, from the beginning. My son Marten was celebrating his 3rd 
birthday yesterday. A children's birthday -party was planned, 8 
children invited, making a total of 10, including my two.
At point 3 p.m. they arrived, accompanied by their mothers. I tried to 
ignore the sigh of relief, the evil grin, when the mothers left their 
beloved children in my care, returning to their now pleasantly quiet 
homes.

The weather was cold and quite stormy, but dry. This meant, the kids 
started playing outside, but where running in again every few seconds, 
because they where cold. After about 350 times of helping the kids in 
and out of coats, closing and opening shoes, giving and taking away 
scarves and ear-muffs, they finally decided to play inside- probably 
because they had already ripped out all the flowers, eaten most of the 
play-sand and destroyed the slide.

We have a play-room in the cellar, and the horde was lead downstairs 
to play quietly for themselves. Every 1 1/2 minute or so, one of them 
would ask for something to drink or to eat ( the table downstairs was 
full of food and drink- they didn't even want something else), help 
with the pants- extra dry pants ( and don't tell mummy please), new 
diapers or just ask 'What are you doing? I want to play with this 
vase' etc. I tried to stay calm and to ignore the noise from 
downstairs- screaming, fighting, the sound of splitting furniture and 
breaking of glass.

After an hour or so, the first kid wanted to go home. She lived just 
next door, but insisted on my company on her long trip ( including of 
course some candy against hunger-attacks). I ran beck, hoping the rest 
of the bunch had not blown up the house in  the few seconds they where 
alone. Well, at least you could say the walls where still there.
The house looked as if a hurricane had been inside it. The screaming 
reached its climax. After nursing some minor injuries, I found the 
same little girl ringing the door-bell, wanting to join the fun again!

Apparently, the party had been a full success! At 7 p.m. 8 happy, well 
over-fed children where collected by their  relaxed looking mothers ( 
I could smell it- some of them had been lying in the bath- grateful of 
the peace and quiet they had had). I found my own two children in the 
furthest corner of their play-room, playing with some toys close to 
them. They could not move. The whole room was covered with toys, 
chips, puzzle-parts, broken unidentifiable pieces of plastic. I 
managed to get my children out of there, not without the help of the 
rescue-rope I found in the other cellar-room ( Which, thank God, had 
been locked to avoid intrusion).

That was the moment my husband came home ( had he seen the kids go, 
hiding around the corner of the garden until the coast was clear?), as 
fresh and clean as he had left this morning. He looked up and down at 
me in disgust: filthy shirt and pants, hair a mess, make-up destroyed. 
Instead of helping he decided to reward his days work with a nice 
computer - game, leaving me to put two over- excited kids first in the 
bath, then to bed, and to clean up the mess in living-room, toilet 
(may I say I nearly fainted?) and play-room. It was way past midnight 
when I fell into my bed, only to discover that one of the monsters had 
eaten his Ice-cream in it ( I had forbidden everybody to go upstairs, 
but had forgotten these unattended thirty seconds). Half a melted 
chocolate Ice-cream stick was in the middle of my side of the bed, 
carefully covered with the blanket, so I hadn't seen it in the dark. 
My husband merrily snoring next to me, just grunted when I turned the 
lights on. Clean sheets are in the closet in Martens room. Of course 
he awoke, happy to start playing again- it took ages to get him back 
to sleep. Okay, after making the bed, I eventually fell into it, 
falling asleep the second my head touched the pillow.  About an hour 
or so later, 200 gummi-bears, wieners, fries, ice-cream and candy 
decided to leave my daughters stomach and place themselves on bed, 
carpet and walls. Cleaning, soothing, redressing my 8year old and her 
room took about an hour- I lost my ability to see properly- everything 
was blurred, too tired to think.- swaying back to bed at last.
At 5 a.m. my son decided to wake up. He declared it was time for 
'birthday- part two' and had a huge tantrum when I said, there would 
be no party today, no more presents and he may not have candy for 
icecream for breakfast. He fell asleep again.
At 5:45 the alarm clock went. My husband said 'give me 10 more 
minutes. You can cook the coffee, call me when it's ready' and turned 
over. I don't know what I answered, but he got up quickly and left the 
room, not without waking the kids with a loud 'want breakfast?' (guess 
who had to make it?).

It is now 8 a.m. I had my fifth cup of coffee, but I still have this 
numb feeling. I'm dead! OTOH, you are not supposed to have pain in 
heaven. And I feel pain- every little muscle is screaming of 
exhaustion. You could perhaps argue, that I did not deserve heaven and 
what I was feeling was hell itself. Believe it or not, that gives me 
some hope. If I where sentenced to hell, I might be pardoned some day 
( after all, I killed neither the monsters nor my husband), parenthood 
is a life -sentence.

Having only 6 months to recover and to prepare myself for the next 
children's birthday- party ( my daughte wants to invite all the girl 
in her class!), I will now close my eyes ( and my ears to the sound of 
the kids fighting over a forgotten candy-bar)- hoping never to open 
them again.
And I will leave you with the warning: NEVER, never have children! 
(What do you mean:Ooops,too late?)

Sabine