Publication Delay
dfrankiswork at netscape.net
dfrankiswork at netscape.net
Tue Apr 16 10:11:23 UTC 2002
Dear HPFGU members,
I was not a little startled this morning to read a lengthy speculative piece in the Daily Prophet, about possible reasons for delay in the publication of Joanne Rowling's latest instalment in the ever-popular Harry Potter series. For those of you who do not wish to support this rather suspect publication - or have not the stomach for Ms Skeeter's somewhat hackneyed reporting style - I reproduce a summary below. Naturally, I have no means of ascertaining the accuracy of any of these plausible hypotheses, though to my ear the last has the ring of truth.
Conspiracy: JKR's evil Dark Publishers have been sitting on the manuscript for a year now, because they want to lose money and see their stock fall.
Holiday: JKR has been sitting on the completed manuscript for a year, because she wants a break before being forced to write Book 6.
Unplottable: The book has been out for six months already, but the NYT has hired wizards to make it invisible.
GOF Plot hole: fixing the GOF plot hole has made the rest of the series impossible to finish; JKR is still wondering how to break the news.
OOP Plot hole: she had just put the final touches on the MS, when she realised she couldn't think of a plausible reason for Harry and Hermione to be found in the greenhouse alone together.
Marriage: every time she finally thinks she's solved the plotting problems, her husband sneaks up, puts his hands over her eyes and says 'surprise!', causing her to forget.
Jessica: her daughter keeps coming up with Uranus type jokes whose inclusion requires extensive rewriting of the whole book.
Hard Death: She keeps trying to kill Hagrid, but he ducks and Colin Creevey gets it instead.
Impasse: Scholastic's lawyers are insisting that Stouffer is not a good name for a Death Eater.
Fictionalley: Every time she thinks she's finished, she sees a fanfic with the same ideas, and has to start afresh.
HPFGU: 'I'll get back to writing in a minute, but I'll just check my inbox first'.
David Frankis
Frankis & Stein
Purveyors of Magically Useless Information to the Wizarding Gentry
Infurn Alley
London
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