Publication Delay

[dfrankiswork at netscape.net]

Dear HPFGU members,

I was not a little startled this morning to read a lengthy speculative piece in the Daily Prophet, about possible reasons for delay in the publication of Joanne Rowling's latest instalment in the ever-popular Harry Potter series.  For those of you who do not wish to support this rather suspect publication - or have not the stomach for Ms Skeeter's somewhat hackneyed reporting style - I reproduce a summary below.  Naturally, I have no means of ascertaining the accuracy of any of these plausible hypotheses, though to my ear the last has the ring of truth.

Conspiracy: JKR's evil Dark Publishers have been sitting on the manuscript for a year now, because they want to lose money and see their stock fall.

Holiday: JKR has been sitting on the completed manuscript for a year, because she wants a break before being forced to write Book 6.

Unplottable:  The book has been out for six months already, but the NYT has hired wizards to make it invisible.

GOF Plot hole:  fixing the GOF plot hole has made the rest of the series impossible to finish; JKR is still wondering how to break the news.

OOP Plot hole: she had just put the final touches on the MS, when she realised she couldn't think of a plausible reason for Harry and Hermione to be found in the greenhouse alone together.

Marriage: every time she finally thinks she's solved the plotting problems, her husband sneaks up, puts his hands over her eyes and says 'surprise!', causing her to forget.

Jessica: her daughter keeps coming up with Uranus type jokes whose inclusion requires extensive rewriting of the whole book.

Hard Death: She keeps trying to kill Hagrid, but he ducks and Colin Creevey gets it instead.

Impasse: Scholastic's lawyers are insisting that Stouffer is not a good name for a Death Eater.

Fictionalley: Every time she thinks she's finished, she sees a fanfic with the same ideas, and has to start afresh.

HPFGU: 'I'll get back to writing in a minute, but I'll just check my inbox first'.

David Frankis
Frankis & Stein
Purveyors of Magically Useless Information to the Wizarding Gentry
Infurn Alley
London


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