Hogwarts Play: Shadow of the Past

[dfrankiswork at netscape.net]

Mr Christian Stub, the noted Magical Demographer, kindly asked

> Given your apparent access to inside-information from the casting of 
> this production, can you comment on the recent persistent rumours 
> that the role of Saruman is to be played by one Professor Flitwick, 
> Professor of charms, assisted by the Minister of Magic performing in 
> a debuting supporting role as Grima Wormtongue?
> 
I have made enquiries, and can confirm that Professor Flitwick was in the end rejected for the part of Saruman. I understand that the deciding factor was the need for an actor with a suitable Voice.

The part of Grima Wormtongue was indeed contentious, but in the end Mr Fudge's influence with the school governers proved less persuasive than that of his colleague Squamatus Avery, who got the part. Mr Fudge has refused to have anything more to do with the production, deriding the offer of Old Flourdumpling, the Mayor of Michel Delving, as an 'insult'.

I can also confirm that Dobby the House-elf is associated with the production, but will not be wearing a sword. He is on record as respectfully suggesting that anyone who draws parallels between House-elves and the Elves of Middle Earth should consider ironing their hands.

Ms Skeeter was privileged to be a 'fly on the wall' at one of the rehearsals, and I pass on her notes.  You will recall that Frodo is played by Harry Potter, Gandalf by Professor Snape, and Sam by Rubeus Hagrid.

Scene: The living room at Bag End.  Gandalf is standing by the fire, Frodo facing him.

Gandalf: Turn out your pockets, Baggins.  Now!  Ah, how did you come by this very valuable-looking ring?
Frodo: My uncle left it me the day he disappeared.
Gandalf: And you've been carrying it around ever since?  How touching.  Baggins, do you know where this ring comes from?
Frodo: (shrugs) Er, no, I, er, I've seen rings just like it in Isildur's Gifte Shoppe in Hoggiton.
Gandalf:  And suppose I just... throw it into the fire?
Frodo: No, don't do that!

Gandalf throws it into the fire anyway, picks it out a moment later, and reads aloud.

Gandalf: "Lord Sauron the Great begs Gandalf the Grey to keep his abnormally large nose out of his business, and advises him to prune his staff, the scarecrow"  This ring must come from Morrdorr, Baggins, Morrdorr.
Frodo: From where? Is that with a silent T?

Gandalf takes some powder from a pocket and throws it into the fire.  A three-foot pumpkin crashes through the window, followed by Sam Gamgee.

Gandalf: Gamgee, how long have you been listening?  Did you hear our plans to save the world by travelling to Mordor and throwing this ring into the Cracks of Doom?
Sam:  I did not hear tha', sir, I did not hear tha'.

Curtain falls

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