Hogwarts Play: Doom

[David <dfrankiswork@netscape.net>]

Dear HPFGU members,

Here is the last of Rita Skeeter's reports from the rehearsals for 
the Hogwarts play, before Professor Dumbledore announced its 
cancellation, after Lord Voldemort's withdrawal owing to his 
objection to appearing to "lend support, however tangential, to any 
production which seeks to propagate the belief that there is good 
and evil, rather than power, and those too weak to seek it".

Season's Greetings
David Frankis
Frankis & Stein
Infurn Alley
Mordor

Scene: Mt Doom

Enter Frodo, followed by Gollum and Sam.

Frodo: I have decided I will not do the thing I came for (puts on 
ring and vanishes)

Gollum rushes up and begins to struggle with Frodo

Gollum: Give it to Smeagol. Nice hobbit must not lose Smeagol's 
Precious

Suddenly Gollum pulls away, shrieking with joy.  He has pulled a 
sock off Frodo's foot and is waving it over his head.

Gollum: Smeagol is free!  Nice master has set Gollum free!  Now 
Gollum can open his own sportswear boutique!

Sam: Tha's not righ'.  Hobbits don't wear socks!  Tha' should not 
have happened.

Enter Sauron

Sauron: At last I get a line! Give me my ring, Frodo Baggins.

A struggle ensues, in which Sauron flails ineffectually at Frodo but 
can't seem to get hold.  Eventually Frodo takes off the ring and 
tries to put it on Sauron's finger.  It drops through his finger, 
rolls along the floor and into the Crack of Doom.  Sauron's head 
tips sideways off his neck, there is a crash of thunder, and the 
curtain, together with its rod, falls onto the stage.  Exeunt omnes 
for Christmas lunch.