Leggy laments: The spidery and the stumpy (girly whinge post)

[macloudt]

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Tabouli" <tabouli at u...> wrote:

> (Tabouli, who wasted endless hours of her adolescence staring 
mournfully at her legs in the mirror and *willing* them to grow long 
and slender, rummages around in her heart to find sympathy for the 
leggy Elkins, but emerges empty handed, and instead mounts her soap-
box, standing on the very tips of her toes)
> 
> Haaaang on a minute here.  You long-legged types think you got 
problems, huh?  Huh?  Ha!  At least long legs are in fashion - spare 
a thought for us stumpy types!

Hear, hear!  As someone who hit 5'2"/156 cm at the age of 11 and 
stayed there, I must admit to having next to no sympathy for the long-
legged (or any other part of the anatomy)
> 
> How do you think we stumpies feel watching the spidery parade of 
models and actresses sashaying through our billboards and TV screens, 
and reading lyrical passages all over the place about long, elegant, 
Bambi-like limbs?  When we end up spending our life's savings on 
having every lower body garment we buy taken up at the hem, and 
suffered in silence through the very groovy fashion a few years ago 
for bootleg trousers with embroidery on the bottom?  When *our* 
pantihose fall into wrinkles around our ankles unless hitched up 
every 5 minutes to our armpits?  When we risk lifelong back and foot 
problems trying to compensate with 5" heels...I'm always getting 
things altered, because (a) I seem to range from Australian size 8 to 
size 12 across different parts of my body and therefore nothing ever 
fits off the rack, and (b) I'm vain and finicky enough to spend money 
on making my clothes fit properly (!).

Be thankful, Tabloui...I'm a size 16-18 British, though I happily 
admit that it's my own fault (Me? Gluttonous!?).  When I was a size 
20 I had to shorten everything I bought because no shop carried short 
lengths in that girth.  Now, at least, I can buy a pair of jeans and 
not have them languishing on my monstrous sewing pile waiting to be 
shortened.  But tights are still a problem as I need a Queen size 
(who *did* think up that stupid term?) for girth, but I end up with 
elephant legs as they're waaayyy to long for me.  And I gave up 
buying one-piece outfits years ago because I can't afford to get them 
altered, and my sewing skills don't extend that far. 

> Interestingly, after a visit to France my supervisor commented that 
the French seem to make clothes for the shape women really are, not 
some strange non-existent ideal.  Musing on the French stereotypes I 
know of, this isn't too surprising, though I'm interested to hear 
denial or further confirmation of this from European listmembers!  
When visiting Asia, I suddenly went from an Australian small to 
medium to a large to extra large (I confess to flinching).  I've also 
been known to try on (very pretty, albeit pricey) clothing from the 
British chain Monsoon, only to discover time and time again that it's 
hopeless.  'What *shape* are those British women?'  I found myself 
despairing...

>From what I gather, British women are viewed as rectangular.  No 
breasts, hips, or waists, please...the clothing designers don't cater 
for us deformed types.  The fashion for straight skirts is driving me 
mad because I have large hips but a comparatively small waist, so 
they're either too tight around the bum or far too loose at the 
waist.  I loved the 80's wide, elasticised skirts as they actually 
fit me.  Shame about the perm, though.
> 
> Of course, the worst thing of all is that so many women spend so 
much time and energy and misery fretting about the size and nature of 
their deviation from the media body ideal.  Terribly depressing.  
It's enough to drive anyone to the Internet (the great leveller, 
where the inside's all that counts because it's all people see...)

...and you can lie through your teeth about your physical 
appearance!  Not that *I'd* ever lower myself to do such a 
thing :::::adjusts her size 8 fitted little dress, flexes her toned, 
slim arms, and adjusts her 34B perkies:::::

Mary Ann
(living in dreamland again)