Booty, mushroom mishaps

[Tabouli]

> Tabouli is a Scarlet Woman.
> 
> Happy New Year!
> Amy
> who has no clue what the name for the boots might be

Kristin:
>The knee high boots like that were called Go-Go boots back in the 
late 60's/early 70's.

Tabouli raises a sultry eyebrow and slowly crosses her booted legs in suitably scarlet fashion (though in reality her eyebrows are inextricably united and she can only raise one at a time if she holds the other one down with her finger, which looks distinctly unsexy).

Actually, my brother, being of 1974 vintage, was referring to what I now suspect must be the Australian slang term for knee-high boots, which is C.F.M. boots.  (Hint: The M stands for "me").  But ha!  I don't care.  I love boots, and I was very pleased this, sorry, last year when knee-high boots finally came into fashion again (instead of only being available in, er, Adult Shops).  Mine make my (regrettably short) legs look longer, and they're comfortable and don't even have especially high heels (small tho' I be, my sense of balance and strange feet just aren't up to three inch heels).  Mind you, I've always found the image of long boots a bit mystifying.  Why, when slutty clothes on every other part of the body are those which *reveal* a lot of flesh, are long boots which *conceal* a lot of flesh considered so sleazy looking that they were adopted by prostitutes?

Dixie Malfoy:
> The dishwasher is spilling out soap all over the floor. 

This reminds me of something I did three or four times after moving into my current flat.  I have a combined laundry/bathroom, and the outlet for the washing machine is, alas, the bath.  Which means that if you don't remember to put the outlet pipe into the bath when you turn on the washing machine, you suddenly notice that the carpet is making a strange squelching noise and open the door to a tidal wave of greyish soapy water.  Carpets being what they are (and the carpet outside the laundry being too far from the window to get any sunlight), it usually took the carpet two or three days of sponging and towel draping and nasty wet carpet smell and swearing to get anywhere near dry.

On one particular morning after I thought I'd finally got the squelchy carpet under control I glanced cheerfully across my bedroom past the mushroom into the bathroom... what?? AAAHHHG!  My carpet had grown a mushroom!

It was eerie.  It was like an alien invasion!

I swear that only the previous night there was no sign whatsoever of fungal growth on my carpet, because I was busy pummelling it with towels and sponges!  Yet after only one night, I had a three inch mushroom growing out of my carpet!   How did this happen?  Dreading what I might see, I tiptoed over to the rogue fungal invader and my skin began to crawl.  Scattered around the three inch mushroom were a veritable army of little mushrooms, stealthily invading my house.  I had a large enough crop to cover a pizza.  I'm normally quite fond of mushrooms, but these were agents of evil.  I swathed my hands in plastic before I dared strip the carpet bare, and then ironed the carpet vigorously to stop any remaining spores getting ideas.  My bedroom smelled of grilled mushrooms for weeks...

Tabouli (who found herself singing an old mushroom-shaped air freshener ad which went "There's a mushroom/ In my kitchen/ There's a mushroom/ In my loungeroom/ There's a mushroom/ In my bedroom/ And a lovely fragrance in the air")


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