[HPFGU-OTChatter] re: FB / Congrats, Pam / Bullying / Intrinsic-Extrinsic

Shaun Hately drednort at alphalink.com.au
Sat Jul 27 05:41:43 UTC 2002


On 27 Jul 2002 at 4:49, catlady_de_los_angeles wrote:

> Oh, dear, so many people who were bullied worse than I was! (And 
> *they* didn't come down with Social Phobia because of it...)

Some of us did, I'm afraid. Through six years of intensive therapy, I've managed to 
get it under control, but it's still there in the background.
 
> I understand why being small or weak or fat or easily moved to tears 
> makes a person a target for bullying, and I suppose that being 
> 'weird' (i.e. socially inept) is offensive to the innate human 
> instinct of conformism, but I *don't* understand *why* being 
> intelligent/bookish and/or getting good marks make a person widely 
> hated. 

It doesn't always - but it can. Some of it comes down to jealousy. Some of it comes 
down to a perception that the person feels 'superior', and needs to be taken down 
because of it. 

People can be perceived as showing off (whether they are or not). It's even in Haryr 
Potter - from PS/SS:

"Ron, at the next table, wasn't having much more luck.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" he shouted, waving his long arms like a windmill.

"You're saying it wrong," Harry heard Hermione snap. "It's Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, 
make the 'gar' nice and long."

"You do it, then, if you're so clever," Ron snarled.

Hermione rolled up the sleeves of her gown, flicked her wand, and said, 
"Wingardium Leviosa!"

Their feather rose off the desk and hovered about four feet above their heads.

"Oh, well done!" cried Professor Flitwick, clapping. "Everyone see here, Miss 
Granger's done it!"

Ron was in a very bad mood by the end of the class. "It's no wonder no one can 
stand her," he said to Harry as they pushed their way into the crowded corridor, 
"she's a nightmare, honestly. "

Someone knocked into Harry as they hurried past him. It was Hermione. Harry 
caught a glimpse of her face -- and was startled to see that she was in tears.

"I think she heard you."

"So?" said Ron, but he looked a bit uncomfortable. "She must've noticed she's got 
no friends.""

In PA:

""That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," said Snape 
coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Hermione went very red, put down her hand, and stared at the floor with her eyes 
full of tears. It was a mark of how much the class loathed Snape that they were all 
glaring at him, because every one of them had called Hermione a know-it-all at 
least once, and Ron, who told Hermione she was a know-it-all at least twice a week, 
said loudly, "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you 
don't want to be told?""

catlady:
> Shaun said something about learning to act in a way that doesn't 
> provoke the bullies (especially pretending to be stupid in order to 
> fit in) means learning to act not like oneself. Go through life with 
> one's real self concealed as a shameful secret and one's presented 
> self an impersonation. Yes, it is an unpleasant experience; I don't 
> like doing it; I don't like that good people must imitate jocks and 
> brutes ... but it is necessary. Without the right social skills, you 
> can't pass any job interview but the most desperate. And the 
> obsolescence of non-temp jobs means that salesmanship (marketting 
> oneself) is THE most important job skill for EVERYONE. 

The thing is, some 'protective camouflage', some 'hiding' of who you are is often 
necessary. And provided it's fairly limited, it isn't that bad.

But when it's expected every single day. Everywhere you are. That's when it really 
starts to hurt. 

Yours Without Wax, Dreadnought
Shaun Hately |webpage: http://www.alphalink.com.au/~drednort/thelab.html
(ISTJ)       |email: drednort at alphalink.com.au | ICQ: 6898200
"You know the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in
common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter
the facts to fit the views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen
to be one of the facts that need altering." The Doctor - Doctor Who:
The Face of Evil | Where am I: Frankston, Victoria, Australia





More information about the HPFGU-OTChatter archive