Swim Suit Stress (WAS Corsetry Complaints, Bosomy Burblings & looks in life)

[cindysphynx]

Jenny wrote:

>I too have suffered much while shopping for bras but that 
> does not compare to the pure torture and humiliation I experience 
> every June when I go looking for bathing suits.  

I know there is no answer to this question, but I just have to ask:  
What is the deal with bathing suit manufacturers?

Each year, it is the same old thing.  I go in and take, oh, maybe 25 
one-piece bathing suits into the dressing room.  Each suit has 
specifically promised me that it will not make my body look worse 
than it already is.  It says so right on the tag.  The dressing room 
has ghastly green horror-movie lighting.  I try each suit on, only 
to find that every one of them lied to me.  They *all* add pounds; 
none slims anything; nothing magically disappears.  

Then I reach for the one thing I always want to wear -- the 
Tankini.  It is the Prince of Lies.  It is designed to make sure a 
roll of tummy flab is plainly visible at all times.  That is the 
only purpose of the Tankini, so far as I can tell.  Oh, sure, long-
waisted people look good in a tankini.  But they just don't work for 
short-waisted people like me.  Maybe I'll try a Tankini on again 
this year; I don't want to give up hope.

Have you noticed what is left at the end of the swim season?  Rack 
after rack of bikinis.  Why do they ship so many bikinis and so few 
flattering suits in solid colors with strong, sturdy fabric?  Do 
they really not know what looks good on people?  Ahem.

Cindy (who finds Ralph Lauren suits to be among the worst because 
they tend to have spaghetti straps, but who gets on quite well with 
Anne Klein suits)