[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: in-laws and family

[Mary Jennings]

Amandageist said:

>My mother died when I was 21. Jan's parents were both dead before I met 
>him.
>Only my father was alive when we married. He lived to see my oldest child,
>and got to hold her once; he died when she was 3 months old. My uncle and
>aunt-by-marriage on my mother's side died before my children were born. My
>aunt on my father's side died the *day* my daughter was born. Her husband,
>my distant uncle-by-marriage, died on my daughter's fifth birthday; she had
>never seen him. His passing marked the very last of the older generation of
>my family. My husband has one living aunt, far away in Ohio, who has seen 
>my
>children only once.
>
>My brothers live 200 miles away, made little effort in the past to sustain 
>a
>relationship, and now are actively trying *not* to have one. Jan's brother
>and sister live far away in California, have seen my oldest child twice,
>middle child once, and my youngest, never.

Gads, that's difficult.  I'm so sorry you lost so many people in such a 
short space of time.  Losing contact is no fun either.  <schnoogle>

Despite the fact that my family live in Canada and the Netherlands (none 
here in England) I'm lucky to have a close relationship with them.  On the 
other hand, DH has loads of extended family members living in the same town 
as us, but he has no contact with them.  I'm not sure why, but I know MIL 
didn't get on with *her* in-laws, and that may have something to do with it. 
  In fact, MIL is the only one with whom I don't get on.  I'll spare you the 
details, but let's just say I'm waiting for an apology.  Yes, I'm holding a 
grudge, and I know it's childish, but I simply can't forgive her outright.  
She has to show some effort, but I'm not holding my breath.  DH is very 
close to his siblings, and I get on with them as well.  I've always liked my 
FIL but hardly see him now.  DH takes the kids to see his parents, so 
they're not missing out.

Ah, family dynamics...how fascinating, how enthralling, how dysfunctional ;) 
  I've yet to meet one person who wouldn't trade at least one family member 
(close or distant) for a pet tarantula.  Come to think of it, though, most 
people I know, including myself and DH, come from large extended families, 
with more chances for feuding and griping.  I love all my extended family, 
but let's just say I have no plans to *ever* be at the reading of a family 
member's will!  <ducks from flying furniture>

Sadly my parents' generation is passing away as well.  I lost my mom to 
cancer 2 years ago (the only time I really regretted moving so far away), my 
Dad is 75 and showing signs of slowing down mentally and physically, and 
I've lost several aunts and uncles over the past few years.  I'm lucky to 
have some very good friends here who I consider my surrogate family.  
Sometimes you just have to plod on, don't you?

Meanwhile, I'm still waiting for that alien abduction...

Mary Ann ;)

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