[HPFGU-OTChatter] Re: in-laws

[Sheryll Townsend]

Amanda wrote a wonderful post, so now I'll add one as
well.

I don't have a mother-in-law, nor a father-in-law.
Andy's father died before I met him, though having
heard various horror stories from his sister (and I do
mean horror stories, but that's another post), I
consider myself lucky not to have met the man. Their
mother died when Andy was young. He has stepmother.
I've met her once. She was not invited to our wedding.
Andy's choice and I've been told by all his siblings
that she would have declined the invite anyway,
thinking the wedding was too far away (an hour drive).

Andy does have lots of siblings, 8 older brothers and
1 older sister. They aren't a particularly close
family. We rarely see most of then, despite the fact
that all but 2 live nearby. One brother lives upstairs
of us and we hardly see him, except in passing or when
it's time for him to pay us the rent. I'm pretty good
friends with his sister, but we were friends before I
met Andy.

I find it all very strange, coming from a close
family. I only have one sister, but we see each other
often. She calls on me for things like replacing the
nanny on her day off, to tell me about books she found
that I'd like, stuff like that. I took her eldest son
off to Toronto in 2000 for JKR's reading at the
SkyDome, just because I could.

My parents live about 40 miles from us, and not only
do we see them often, my mother calls every couple of
days. My father never calls, but that's because he's
not a phone person. If you ever actually get him on
the phone, it's a short conversation; he doesn't
believe in making small talk. He'll hang up when he's
done, without a 'good-bye'. When he's done, he's done.

My mother's family is all very far away, the closest
living a 4 day drive from us. We still see them as
often as possible and we call often. We plan family
reunions every few years, just to make sure we don't
go too long without seeing each other. No matter how
far away we are, we get there unless there's some
serious reason to prevent our attending. My Mom's
youngest brother drove for 2 straight days(well, he
says he stopped for a couple hours to sleep) to the
last reunion.

My father's family is much closer (a 10 hour drive
away) and we see them as much as we can. Every second
year, it's a drive down to spend Christmas with my
grandmother, who at age 82 still lives alone. My
father is the oldest of 9 and most of his siblings
still live very close to home. A trip to the east
coast is not really relaxing, as it's a continual
visit from one house to the next. Mind you, I'm not
complaining. 

I'm very lucky. I not only grew up with 4
grandparents, I also had 2 great-grandmothers. One
dies when I was 18, the other when I was about 27.
Nyssa doesn't remember, but there was a time, for
about 3 years, when she had a great-great-grandmother
living. One of the most treasured things I own is a 5
generation photo.

Do all these relatives give me lots of unwanted
advice? Sure they do. Would they putter in my kitchen
and get underfoot? Of course. But I putter in their
kitchens as well. I'll take the advice and
inconvenience anyday, because I get the bonuses that
go with them. 

And much as I complain about my mother, I love her to
death. We're entirely too much alike, a week-long
vacation can drive us both to the brink of insanity or
homicide. That doesn't stop us from doing it. My
mother takes Nyssa (my daughter) and Austin (my
sister's oldest) on vacation, giving us a break from
kids for a bit. When the kids need something we can't
afford, Grandma and Grandpa are always picking up the
slack for us. Nyssa doesn't know it yet, but Grandma
is paying her first year of university. My parents are
also taking Nyssa and Austin to Europe for 2 weeks
this summer, graduation gift to Nyssa. They took them
to Alaska and the Yukon 2 years ago. These kids are
lucky and they know it. They don't take it for granted
that their grandparents will buy them things or take
them places, but they certainly appreciate it when it
happens. 

It might sound like I'm bragging a bit, but that's not
it. More like counting my blessings. 

Sheryll, who knows she's got something good




=====
"We need to be united and strong. We'll have losses and scares, sure. And you'll be there for each other, helping each other through the bad times."
 blpurdom - Harry Potter and the Psychic Serpent, Chapter 26

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