The potty saga...

[Pam Hugonnet]

jenP_97 wrote:

> POTTY TRAINING.
>
> Ugh.  Isn't it a horrible thing?  Ginger turned 3 on the 10th (of
> March, of course), and is, as you may know, NOT potty trained yet.
> Not because she isn't capable, but because she refuses to do it.
> Well... we've decided to just drop it as a subject of conversation
> because every time we bring it up with her, she gets defensive, and
> it feels like we put off the "big day" by weeks at a time.

    Potty training is, unfortunately, the first of many power struggles
that we go through with our kids.  But you're doing the right thing by
de-emphasizing it's importance.  Remember, nobody has graduated from
college wearing diapers, carrying a lovey blanket or with a pacifier in
their mouth (although I thought my second daughter was going to come
close on the last one).


>  So of course, Ginger started to cry, and I said, "Ginger,
> you can pee in your diapers as long as you want, Grandma doesn't know
> anything."  In text, this looks awful, but I said it sarcastically
> with a smile on my face.

LOL!  You don't know how many times I've longed to say something similar
to my MIL and my own mom.  Perhaps your language was less than
diplomatic, but the message was clear.  If it comes up again with Ginger
tell her that a long time ago it was true that some preschools didn't
let non-potty trained kids come to school, but that's not the case now
and that Grandma was just speaking about what it was like way back
when.  Case closed, Grandma comment neutralized.


> ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
>
> So I'm starting to wonder what would happen if she DID move out to
> California with us and had more daily contact with us and the way we
> raise our kid(s).  Maybe I *would* start hating her after a while...
>

    That's her job; MIL's are made to be slightly irritating on child
rearing issues.  You'll be surprised at how much less these comments
will bother you when you're going through potty training with kid #2
(boy or girl, BTW, do you know yet?) Over time you develop these
callouses so that you can say, "Yeah, is that right?"  to whatever piece
of bizarre advice comes flying your way.  It's just that as a
going-thru-it-for-the-first-time-Mom it's easy to feel that you are
making mistakes left and right.  You aren't.  And if you are, it's not
gonna kill anybody.


Here's my two bits on the potty-training scene:

Wanda is right; girls usually train faster and earlier than boys.  (Does
that help any, Wynnde?)  But everybody has his/her own schedule.  As the
weather is probably warming up where you are, try this little trick.
Buy a potty or two or three.  Put one in the bathroom.  One in the
living room (or wherever you spend most of your time) and one in the
backyard.  Put her in dresses and skip the diaper.  Put out a stack of
pull-ups and tell her there are some potties around for her to use if
she would like.  There are also pull-ups around.  If she feels like she
needs to go, she should choose one.  And leave it at that.  Yes. you
will mop up quite a bit for a day or two, but she'll get with the
program very quickly because it will be her choice to do so.  If she
doesn't get better about it in a week or so, switch to the pull-ups and
leave it be.  Once she goes to preschool and sees everybody lining up
for bathroom time or experiences a diaper change or two in front of her
friends, she'll train in no time.   Peer pressure begins really early ;)

> Jen (the failure at motherhood... hehehe)
>

Join the club!  There are a lot of us here!

drpam
who has failed motherhood three times so far and is preparing to fail
for a fourth.



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