Fw: English Noun Genders

[Amanda]

I just got this from an old friend...hadn't seen it before. I apologize if
you had, but some of these are priceless. And ingenious.

--Amanda

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, April 30, 2002 5:01 PM
Subject: English Noun Genders


>

> Subject: Assigning Genders To Nouns
>
>
> >From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated
that
> English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to
assign
> a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reason.
>
> The best submissions:
>
> ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always
see
> right through them.
>
> SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide
> variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
>
> KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
>
> SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.
>
> COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
> Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are
> pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
>
> TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
>
> HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light
> a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
>
> SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
>
> WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.
>
> SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
>
> HOURGLASS - female, because over time the weight shifts to the bottom.
>
> HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years,
> but it's handy to have around.
>
> REMOTE CONTROL - female... Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it
> gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always
> know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
>
>
>
>
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>