Mixed Couples on American TV

[selah_1977]

OK, had to respond to this.  

****WARNING--if you're thin-skinned on racial issues, this is not the 
post to read. 



Naama wrote:
> >I also remember a few years 
> > ago, that Eric la Salle (Benton in E.R.) was uncomfortable with 
> >his 
> > character having an affair with a white woman (Elisabeth), and 
> > because of that the romance between them was ended. 

Actually, Eriq La Salle was quoted in several national black 
magazines (Ebony, Essence, Savoy, Jet, etc.) as saying that *he* was 
the one who didn't like the plotline, and felt as if the 
writers/producers were forcing it on him.  So unless he was lying to 
the black community, he's the one who requested the change.

Cindy:
> Based on what I've seen, relationships between African American men 
> and white women are the least accepted in the U.S., and African 
> American men who date outside their race can take quite a bit of 
> heat for it in the community.

It might seem that way because black men date outside of their race 
*much* more often... the ratio of black male/non-black female couples 
to black female/non-black male relationships is something like 8 to 
1.  Black American females have been traditionally reluctant to date 
outside of the race for sad historical reasons.  

My father was very much against any of his daughters dating white 
boys/men (he thought other men of color were fine, no matter the 
race) because of the horrible things that happened to many black 
women during slavery and the Jim Crow period... the variety of skin 
tones amongst American blacks today tells the tale.  Dad used to 
always say, "Baby, a white boy might want to have his fun with you, 
but he sure as hell ain't gonna marry you."  Racist comment?  Hell 
yeah.  Generalized truth, as evidenced throughout our history?  
Well... my dad was born in 1940s Mississippi.  Of course he'd feel 
that way.

Also, there is the sad fact that skin color and socioeconomic status 
is interconnected in the American mind.  So for a black man, to marry 
a white woman, no matter what her class or educational background, in 
out community has been subconsciously seen as a "step up".  On the 
other hand, in my experience the black women who are married to 
middle-to-upper class white men tend to be of a certain class and 
educational background.  (There are several liberal pockets of the 
country that prove the exception to this rule, like New York City, 
Minneapolis, and southern California... and there are openminded 
people everywhere, but as a rule, I stand by this.)  That statement 
might seem racist, but really, I can cite example after example 
amongst the people I know and even celebs.  For instance, the black 
talk show host Montel Williams married a white stripper.  I don't 
know of any black strippers, waitresses, or the equivalent who are 
actually *married* to white professionals or millionaires.  Mistress, 
yes.  Wife, no.  Again, that's historical fact.

The few black women who *do* date outside of their race tend to get 
flack from male *and* female, whereas black men tend to only get heat 
from one side of the fence--from black women.  The same black men who 
will encourage their "brothers" to go after a woman of another race 
often are highly offended by a black woman who does the same.

At the present time, I'm dating a wonderful guy who happens to be 
white.  You wouldn't believe the things I've heard, the looks I've 
gotten.  My mom thinks it's a bit odd that I'm attracted to this guy 
and has told me so, teasing me, but you can catch the underlying 
hint.  It's *extremely* hard... I've dated interracially twice before 
this, and in both cases I was the one who ended it.  I'm having fun 
and we do really enjoy each other's company, but it's too bad our 
society can't get over its own history.

Naama:
> > Since when - and WHY - has it become the bon-ton in the US for 
> > "racially pure" couples? (I have to say, that I personally find 
> this 
> > racial exclusiveness disturbing, but maybe I'm not getting 
> > something?)

Racial purity is a myth.  At least 80% of American blacks are 
racially mixed, and I'd say a lot of whites are as well.  You have 
people who check the "black/African-American" box on the census who 
are phenotypically white.  As for genotype, there is no white blood 
or black blood--all the oxygenated blood I've ever seen is red.  I 
tell my students all the time that there is no gene for race.  It's a 
cultural construct.

I'm currently taking a grad BritLit seminar, "Race and the Victorian 
Novel".  It's interesting, studying the Empire and learning where all 
these racial tropes and constructs originated.

Again, sorry if I've offended any of my friends here.  It's just that 
this is really a very sore point with me.

--Ebony AKA AngieJ