Gifted Children

Sat May 25 13:11:37 UTC 2002

Laura wrote a marvelous post on her experiences as a gifted child. As another one who is "too smart for her own good" I felt compelled to weigh in with my two cents. Laura gave three categories of gifted <snip> 

1) Kids of above average intelligence who work their asses off (both here and at their sending schools) to get consistently excellent grades in all their classes.

2) Kids of above-above average intelligence who do well in all classes (this is me...*blushing again*)...and never really had to do any work at their old schools, at least.

3) The geniuses.  Normally these people are only amazingly good at one thing though.  We've got math geniuses who can't follow the basic rules of grammar, as well as English buffs who can barely do algebra.  I don't think I've ever met someone who was "genius" in more than one area.
<snip>

Well, I guess I would fall into the second category. On principle, I refuse to call myself a genius. Maybe it is just me, but it seems presumptuous. Since I was in private schools (here the public schools are bad) we had programs for "gifted" kids. The school figured out that I was "gifted" when I was very young, although my parents knew it long before that. I read everything I could get my hands on. The school finally figured it out when I turned in a book report on a Stephen King book (it is entirely too early to think straight on the weekend) in the third grade as my free choice summer reading book. It was sent home with a note to my parents to not do my book reports for me and to stay on the recommended list. My parents sent it back with a note explaining that I really had read the book. My parents never censored my choices, it wouldn't have worked anyway. I found ways to find books to read. At that point, I was in the accelerated math and literature classes and would stay in them for the rest of my schooling. I was also put in our "Expanding Horizons" and "Mathcounts" programs. Both of these were designed to occupy the gifted kids in my classes. Expanding Horizons introduced me to logic problems, computers and architecture among other things. The Mathcounts program was a national math competition. I continued in both of these programs of my own choice. My parents never pushed me to keep achieving. Since one of my little brothers is "gifted" as well, it lead to many competitions between the two of us, but that was more our competitive nature than anything our parents did. 

But I was one of those kids who could be an underachiever. Outside of my accelerated classes, I was socially awkward and bored. I found the kids too juvenile for my tastes. I was perfectly content to read during recess rather than run around chasing boys on the playground. I was an underachiever because I wanted to be like those kids but knew that I couldn't. I couldn't because it wasn't who I was and as the quote goes "to thine own self be true". My parents would have let me drop all the accelerated classes, but I knew that I wouldn't have been any happier. 

When I went on to high school, I was placed in all honors/accelerated classes save three, PE (does that really count?), Spanish and Chorus (does that count?). I quickly figured out that I liked having the honors classes better than the regular classes. Regular classes seemed to have out of control students and the learning wasn't at the pace I wanted. But I also found the academic team, an outlet for all of the kids who were "gifted". After earning my spot, I was able to travel with the team and be around kids who were like me. When we drove to competitions, we would play word associations and Trivial Pursuit for hours. We also had our own specialties. Because we had two true math geniuses on the team, my specialties were art, music and literature. But we were all expected to know some of everything. I was offered a spot at our "gifted" school, Alabama School of Math and Science, but turned it down. I liked my school too much to leave. I was by no means popular but I had my own friends to hang out with and other clubs to hold my interest. By my senior year, I was president of both the Key Club (service organization) and Mu Alpha Theta (math club), a captain for the academic team, and special projects director for SADD. 

College was similar. Since I was a biology major in a small school, I worked hard. My college has a strong Biology/ Pre-medicine program which is very difficult. We started out with 65 freshman in the department (our of 250 freshman total) and graduated with 23. My class had some very gifted type 3 people in it and we all struggled for our grades and to top each other. The lowest GPAs in our class were still above a 3.0 (4.0 is the maximum). But we all seemed to have fun in our studies. Late nights in the labs seemed to bring that out in us. We played Frisbee in the corridors to blow off steam, we rearranged the skeletons into rude gestures, etc. . But we all did things outside of the biology department. I was in a sorority (even held committee chairs), a resident advisor, involved in a service club and on the sailing team.

Where did all of my experiences get me? Well, I ended up taking a year off after college. Like most applicants, I didn't get into medical school my first year of applying. I have taken this year to work in a law firm doing computer work. Although it is far outside of my degree, I have been able to design and implement a program by which all exhibits are created and displayed virtually for this large firm. I have also had to design and implement several other projects for them. But, I did get into medical school at my first choice school for this upcoming year, based largely IMHO, on what I have learned in the past year, insofar as I have learned self-confidence from the situations I have been placed in. Presentations to the partners or to our largest client can be very intimidating when you have very little self-confidence. My boss refers to me as "too smart for my own good" on a regular basis and he is probably right. 

Although I can be very intelligent, I also lack common sense some days. That is partially why I have always envied my youngest brother, the "non-gifted" one. He is still very bright, but not as bright as my other brother or I. However, he is a much more well-rounded person than either of us. Where I focused solely on academics, he is the one who has been president of his class since he was in the sixth grade (he will be a senior in high school next year) and is well-liked by all that come into contact with him. But our parents never pushed him to achieve what my other brother or I had achieved. Both of us ended up with full scholarships to colleges but that was more because we wanted to achieve rather than our parents making us achieve. 
Kimberly said on being told she was gifted: <snip> The result of this, for me, was disbelief about half the time, and enormous fear of failure the other half.  Any minor failure that I had left me fearing that I was a fraud, that they'd gotten it wrong, and that any moment someone was going to figure it out <snip>

I also was also like this. As I said earlier, I have never called myself a genius. I know that I took several IQ tests as a child, but my parents made the decision to never reveal the results to me. As it stands now, I don't think they still have the results. So the only way I am going to find out how "smart" I am would be to sit through one of those tests. And I have no desire to do that. Part of me fears that it would come back as a mistake, that I really am not as smart as I thought all these years, but part of me just doesn't want the pressure to achieve greatness. I am much happier living with the unknown and being a well-rounded adult than knowing what my number is. 

Tabouli said: <snip> It's as if that IQ score is magic.  The hapless child, typically aged 4-7, is suddenly told that s/he is a genius, a creature superior to other mortals, who is, and this is the worst bit, Destined For Greatness.  Yes, by the time you're 25, little one, your name will be up in lights, because you are SUPERIOR!  You are Better Than Other Children!  You have magic powers which guarantee you success in any field of endeavour you choose!  You will be rich, famous, a rocket scientist, a brain surgeon!  <snip>

I heard this allot from well-meaning teachers. I think they thought it would motivate me but all it ever did was make me shut down. I hated being "gifted" for a long time. I wanted to be a normal kid. I knew I wasn't and knew that I would never be, but statements such as the above just served to reinforce that notion. My parents never said this stuff to me. They knew my personality and knew that it would shut me down. But they made sure that I knew that I could fail, that I wasn't perfect. Between bad penmanship and poor math grades (from the third to the eighth grade I taught myself math because "gifted kids don't need a teacher" and believe it or not they do), there were things that I did not do well. My penmanship is slowly getting better (but I am going to be a doctor, so what does it matter :-p  ) and I ended up tutoring math for the last 5 years. But there are still things that I don't do well. Organic Chemistry is the bane of my existence. And I know that I can fail and it will be ok. But that has everything to do with having parents that let me have my ups and downs. But where my experiences take me in the future is still anyone's guess. 

But this post is getting really long, so I am going to close. I hope this makes sense to someone other than me.

Meg

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