Gifted children

[catlady_de_los_angeles]

It's not a surprise to me that this topic of discussion called forth 
much personal response from OT-chatters: I don't believe there is 
anyone who even LURKS on these lists lower than the 1 person in  500 
level of intelligence, whatever intelligence is. Yes, even the people 
who claim to be stupid and ignorant! That the topic that brought us 
together is a series of BOOKS, that we discuss these books not only 
with GRAMMER and SPELLING (and, for many listees, in their second or 
third language!) but also with constant references to other books, 
literary theory, mythology, psychology, history, such items of 
physics as the Laws of Thermodynamics ... people who aren't bookish 
would get lost.

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Laura Huntley" <huntleyl at m...> wrote:

> Exactly.  Kids that are that much older than a given gifted child
> are unlikely to be cruel to him/her.  
> 
> But they will *never* look at that child as an equal or a peer --
> even if they are friends with him or her.  
> 
> And that, IMO, is almost worse than the "cruelty" you were speaking
> of.  In actuality, this type of treatment, although neither hostile
> nor intentionally harmful, will make a kid feel just as alienated
> as they had with less "mature" kids of their same age.  And don't 
> think a gifted kid in this position wouldn't notice that his
> friends don't quite treat/see him the same way they do each other.
> Children, whether gifted or not, generally are *allot* more aware 
> than most adults will give them credit for.
> 
Dear upfront persistent Laura, you sound like you could be speaking 
of your own personal experience with some kids age 3 to 4 years older 
than you. If so, I am very sorry that they hurt you, but as long as 
we are keeping the discussion on the general level, it isn't enough 
to say that putting kids in with older kids is bad -- one must also 
say that it is worse than the profound Hell of age-based classes. 

--- In HPFGU-OTChatter at y..., "Shaun Hately" <drednort at a...> wrote:

> But please do understand that I have had to see a lot of pain with
> these kids. I've had to endure the misery that can develop when 
> school isn't meeting their needs, when they find it impossible to
> make friends, when they are abused by teachers for not fitting into
> the teacher's neat little boxes... 

You left out, scolded by parents for bringing all this trouble on 
themselves by fidgetting in boring class and not having social skills 
with the other kids. Of course, THOSE parents don't bring their kids 
to you.

> But faced with a 60% chance of any type of peer relationship and 
> friendship, versus a 5% chance of the same (because the fact is the
> "friends don't quite treat/see him the same way they do each other"
> is a problem that could occur in the aged based class as well), 
> it's pretty clear what the better choice is. Not the perfect choice 
> - but we rarely have perfect choices. We have to go with what is
> best.

Hmm. Maybe she is arguing that the correct solution is to put the 
kids in an entire 20 to 40 student class who are all the same age and 
same intelligence, in a school where each grade has an entire 20 to 
40 person class of the same intelligence and there are no classes of 
dumb (excuse me, "normal") people in the whole school. As I said 
before, my life was eventually saved by such a school (and my 
parents' ability to pay the tuition!), but Los Angeles is a Big City. 
I understand your argument that a small town probably (unless it was 
a university town or such) wouldn't have (hmm. 1st thru 6th grade 
times 20) 120 young children in the 1 in 5000 category at the same 
time. Maybe she is recommending board school to solve that problem? 
Perhaps little six year olds aren't too young to go to boarding 
school IF they can go home every weekend ... I'm thinking about the 
travel time from any place in California to any place in California 
... from big city to big city, you spend much longer in the airports 
than on the airplane, but for small towns or out in the country, 
there are LONG drives from the nearest airport...
> 
> I went through 13 years of school, and I had one friend for less 
> than one year in all that time. 

Snap! I had one friend for only one year in regular school. I don't 
know why she wasn't very popular with the normal kids either, but she 
was very religious (in an appropriately childish way) and always 
said: "Don't be so sad, Jesus loves you."